Ramblings From The Black Lagoon

Valentines!

2012-02-14T14:17:00.000-06:00

Here's wishing everyone a Bloody good Valentine's Day!

Happy Friday the 13th!

2012-01-13T14:54:00.000-06:00

Santa's Dark Side

2011-12-22T11:04:00.001-06:00

There is definitely a darker side to the legends surrounding Santa Claus. From the earliest tales of St. Nicholas, to the modern depiction, the generous spirit of the mythical figure has often been coupled with something a tad bit scary. In many countries, St. Nick is accompanied by Krampus, a devil-like creature who punishes the "bad" children. The punishments vary from region to region, but they include everything from leaving switches for parents to beat their children with, to dragging the youngsters to a cave to be eaten! Other countries, like France, have characters like Père Fouettard (big thanks to Guillaume for hipping me to this particular legend), who whips the naughty children. In most North American homes, Krampus and the like are unknown, but the image of Santa as a benevolent, jolly soul is still tempered with stories of him watching the children, only rewarding those who have been good. Those that make the "naughty" list are said to receive lumps of coal. While Santa Claus is generally viewed as a wonderful, kind figure by most children, the fact that he is always watching and judging them is still ever-present in their minds. He operates as both kindly gift-giver and bogeyman for the children who believe in him.

In most of the films I've spotlighted recently, the image of Santa has been used by a murderous madman to bring terror to the "naughty" people. It isn't too hard to see that the reason this works so well is that the subconcious idea of Kris Kringle punishing the evil-doers is ingrained in most of us. Santa is used to keep children in line, to keep them from disobeying parents and other authority figures. As we turn to adults, we tend to remember the happier aspects of Santa, and just chuckle a bit at the other stuff. To children, however, it's a deadly serious business. A part of us, that "inner-child", still remembers looking forward to Santa's visit...but being a tad bit afraid that we just hadn't been good enough in the preceding year.

This brings me to my final film that I will examine this Christmas season. The Finnish movie, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is incredibly unique and original. It's like watching a festive, Christmas version of The Thing! This is NOT a movie that I want to spoil for viewers in the slightest. Part of the enjoyment of this flick is seeing how the story unfolds. At its core, Rare Exports is more dark comedy and satire than it is horror film, but it still has a gruesome overtone. The story is simple: A scientific dig near the Lapland region of Finland uncovers a burial mound of some sort. Soon, reindeer in the area are found slaughtered in the hundreds, which leads the locals who live off of the beasts to set a trap for whatever is preying on them. What they capture appears to be...Santa Claus. Within the mythos of this film, the source of the Santa legend can actually be traced to an old Finnish folklore tale about an evil, demonic creature who preys on those who have not been on their best behaviour all year. Basically, this flick folds the Krampus and St. Nicholas legends into one character. Krampus is never mentioned by name, but there is little doubt that he is the inspiration for the images seen in a book the young protagonist finds that educates him (and the audience) to Santa's "true" nature.

While I wouldn't recommend this story for young children (or any of the one's I've listed, for that matter), this flick really isn't all that scary. There is some gore and a few creepy moments, but all-in-all the tone is darkly humorous. Onni Tommila, who plays Pietari(the young hero of the piece), is absolutely fantastic is this. In fact, the acting in this one is really top-notch all around. I totally bought the depiction of these characters as living in a remote village in the northern wilds of Finland. There is a no-nonsense attitude that is conveyed by men who have to face the realities of nature all the time. These are not jaded, cynical city folk. They are accepting of the nature of their plight, and take action immediately, no matter how absurd the idea of dealing with a creature from folklore might be.

In essence, this film works because it juxtaposes the darker aspect of the Santa myth from it's more popular depictions. Here, the "jolly" side of Santa is downplayed in favor of his role as punisher of those deserving of such. Rare Exports plays off of the folklore, adding in its own twists and turns. I've read a couple of reviews that have reviewed RE as an "anti-Christmas" movie, but I don't think that's the point. I think it is actually taking a jab at the commercialism and watering-down of the Christmas iconography. Ironically, the figure of St. Nicholas was historically one of kindness and generosity to the less-fortunate. In our modern society, Santa Claus has been co-opted by corporations to sell their wares. He is, in some instances, the embodiment of greed and gluttony in our society. I'm not trying to say that everyone who enjoys the character of Santa subsribes to this depiction, in fact I'd argue that most don't, but it is undeniable that the sweet, generous Father Christmas is often used as a symbol of crass commericalism. One need only turn on the television during the months leading up to Christmas to see dozens of adds in regular rotation that show Santa Claus endorsing various products. The final act of the film, which I will NOT spoil here, brings this point home in a rather brilliant way.

I heartily recommend Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale to those of you with a dark sense of humor. If you're sick of seeing Santa hocking automobiles or fast food, then pick this movie up! It's an absolutely wonderful, creepy and funny flick!

For more about Krampus: http://www.krampus.com/index.php

For info about Père Fouettard: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A8re_Fouettard

(sorry. I've never been able to get those HTML links-within-a-text things to work!)

What Fun It Is To Ride and Sing a Slaying Song Tonight!!

2011-12-20T11:48:00.000-06:00

Santa's Slay is an utterly ridiculous movie. The story is beyond goofy, the characters are cartoonish and the kills are completely over-the-top. I freakin' LOVED this movie!

The plot itself is fairly telling of the tone of the film. Turns out Santa is actually the son of Satan! 2000 years ago, he made a bet with an angel and lost. As a result, Santa has had to spend the intervening years being good and bringing cheer to children. Now, the time agreed upon in the wager is up, so Santa gets to return to doing what he loves: murdering people! Former pro wrassler turned "actor", Bill Goldberg, plays the aforementioned Santa, and boy is he a hoot! The director, David Steiman, never treats the material as anything near serious, and the result is a truly hilarious "horror" film. It is campy, silly and downright fun. Sure, it has all the prerequisites of a slasher film: gratuitous violence, plenty of bare breasts and bad acting, but it's all executed in such a way that it is impossible to take it as anything but tongue-in-cheek.

Oh, I should definitely mention the cast here: James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and Rebecca Gayheart all have cameos in the opening segment, and greats like Robert Culp and Saul Rubinek have sizable roles. Some may read a deeper meaning into the fact that the bulk of the cast is Jewish, thinking that perhaps it's an anti-Christmas statement, but I think that's going a bit far. I'm sure the actors had a bit of fun with this fact, but I don't think this flick should be construed as having anything approaching "depth". If anyone is in doubt of this, Santa even uses a Menora to kill off an explicitly Jewish character...so there!

While this film shares a certain motif with the past two films I reviewed (killer Santa), this one is definitely a departure in tone. It ultimately has more in common with a Wile E Coyote cartoon than it does either of those films. Oh, there are plenty of bloody impalements, decapitations and what-not, but this Santa is a wise-cracking, demented killer who enjoys his work. He isn't tortured by his childhood, and he doesn't discriminate between "naughty" or "nice". He's an equal opportunity murderer! In a nutshell, if you enjoy a bit of campy, violent, brainless fun, then check out Santa's Slay! All I want for Christmas...is a sequel to this flick!

Terror in Toyland

2011-12-16T14:51:00.001-06:00

Christmas Evil is one weird film. I mean, really freakin' weird. So weird that it's John Water's favorite Christmas movie (no, seriously!). Originally released in 1980 as You Better Watch Out...(in some markets as Terror in Toyland), it was re-released and re-titled in 1984 to cash in on the success of Silent Night, Deadly Night. In all honesty, it really has little in common with that film, other than being a Christmas-themed horror flick.

As I understand it, there is a director's cut DVD that is quite good, with a sparkling transfer. I didn't see that one. In fact, the DVD I have I picked up for two-dollars at a used bookstore. As befitting such a cheap purchase, the transfer on this disc looks like it was struck from a print that was pulled out of a landfill, drug through raw sewage, and then left to sit on a dusty shelf for about 10 years. Yeah, it's almost unwatchable. Still, I found myself somewhat enchanted by its bizzare, off-kilter tone.

The story itself is rather hard to explain without getting majorly spoilerrific, so I'll keep it simple. Our Holiday killer this time is Harry (hey, this is the first Christmas horror film I've reviewed where the killer isn't named Billy! I was getting a little concerned that maybe I should avoid anyone named Billy around the Holidays...which would make things a bit awkward, since I have a sibling with that name. Still, I'll be keeping an eye on him if he's hanging out near the knives this Christmas. I digress). Harry sees his folks getting it on under the mistletoe as a kid. While it would be traumatic for most kids to see their folks getting frisky, it's especially bad for Harry, possibly due to the fact that his Dad is dressed up like Santa, and his mom is the mom from Home Improvement. Harry doesn't start humming "I Saw Mommy Schtuping Santa Claus", but instead goes upstairs and cuts himself with a shard of glass from a snowglobe, making him one of the original Emo kids. I wondered what the hell this had to do with anything, but apparently it shattered his belief in Kris Kringle...leading to him becoming obsessed with Christmas. Harry decides to do everything in his power to become a REAL Santa. A noble goal, but Harry is a bit off his rocker, so it doesn't go well for anyone.

This flick really isn't a true slasher film, and it barely qualifies as a horror film. While it naturally draws comparisons to Silent Night, Deadly Night, with its themes of guy-dressed-like-Santa-who-punishes-naughty-folk, the execution of these flicks couldn't be more different. It's really something of a psychological thriller with a heavy dose of black comedy thrown in for good measure. The story itself could be read as an indictment of the over-commercialization of Christmas, which is a bit deeper than your average hack-'em-up. Like SNDN, we feel a bit of pity for our killer here. In this case, Harry seems like a likeable guy who really just means well. It isn't his fault he's nuttier than squirrel poo. Brandon Maggart plays Harry beautifully, and the majority of this film is really just his character mentally deteriorating. We watch as his attachment to reality completely disintegrates over the course of the story. There is very little blood, and not much in the way of actual on-screen deaths here, but that's okay. The surreal tone of the film is better for it. If you're a gore-hound, or looking for something that will scare the crap outta ya...this really isn't what you're looking for.

This flick also boast one of the most bizzare endings I've ever seen of any film...ever! I'll leave it to you to see for yourself, but it'll have you scratching your head, wondering if you actually just saw that. Yeah...you did. You aren't experiencing hallucinations from that gawd-awful fruitcake you decided to take a bite of, even though it has to be at least twelve years old. It was every bit as strange as you thought it was.

All in all, I have to say I enjoyed this truly strange little movie. It's definitely not your typical Christmas tale, nor is it a conventional horror flick. It's a unique, surreal story that you'll be thinking about for years to come! Watch it, and then you can brag to your friends "y'know, I just saw the WEIRDEST Christmas movie ever"! You can then make them sit through it and watch their reactions. Holiday fun for everyone!

An Old-Fashioned Slay Ride

2011-12-14T12:56:00.001-06:00

The late 70's and early 80's were filled with all sorts of holiday-themed slasher flicks. With the success of the original Halloween, a whole host of imitators sprung up in its wake. Friday the 13th led the pack, and when that was also a smash hit, pretty much every holiday was fair game for its own slasher. Everything from April Fool's Day to Valentine's Day had a low-budget hack-and-slash. As I stated in a previous entry, Christmas actually has more than any other. While it wasn't the first, the most notorious of these is Silent Night, Deadly Night.

When ads first started to run for this film, the collective reaction from Middle-America was one of complete shock, disgust and revulsion. The PTA (Parent-Teacher Association) picketed the theaters, and organized boycotts. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the ad campain featuring someone who appears to be Jolly Ol' Saint Nick on a murderous rampage. Critics Gene Siskell & Roger Ebert even went so far as to list, on their syndicated TV program At The Movies, the names of the producers,director & studio, while intoning "shame". Naturally, all this controversy made Silent Night, Deadly Night a huge hit (before it was pulled by its distributor, it was actually out-grossing the then-newly released A Nightmare On Elm St). So, was it worth all the outrage? Of course not.

Now, make no mistake, this flick is just WRONG on so many levels, although most horror fans will enjoy that about it. The tradtional, iconic imagery of Christmas, usually associated with innocence and childlike wonder, is completely subverted in every way imaginable. In many ways it's a typical slasher, following the formula almost to a "T" (it even has Linnea Quigley and her breasts, frequent stars of 80's horror in their own right). Where it deviates, however, is what makes this one stand out from the pack.

The film opens with a little boy named Billy, on a trip with his family to see his grandfather. Turns out Grandpa is in a mental asylum (always a great place to take children). Grandpa, being a rather sick bastard, scares the bejeezus out of little Billy by telling him Santa will severely punish anyone who has been naughty on Christmas Eve. Naturally, this gives the youngster a bit of trepidation about the idea of meeting up with ol' Kris Kringle. As fate would have it, the family is carjacked later that night...by a guy in a Santa suit. Billy sees the rape of his mother, and brutal slaying of both parents, by someone he believes to be Santa. Yeah, it warps him just a tad.

Billy and his brother wind up in an orphanage run by a nun who is pretty much the epitome of Catholic guilt. She teaches the kiddos that punishment is a good thing. Years later, he gets himself a job at a toy store. When the store's Santa is injured during the height of the Christmas rush, Billy is put in the Santa suit. I won't go any farther into the spoiler-zone here, but you can probably guess what happens at this point.

The very fact that Billy is given such a in-depth "origin" is one of the things that set this film apart from the typical slasher of the era. In fact, Billy is the focus of the narrative, and the audience feels a sort of pity for him. That isn't to say that we cheer his murderous spree on (with the exception of a couple of douche-bag characters that every slasher has to have), but we do feel some empathy for this guy. He's a complete product of his upbringing, a sort of "perfect storm" of madness. It is a bit far-fetched, but not by much. What makes this flick so disturbing is the fact that the images most of us associate with pleasant childhood memories are presented here as Billy's triggers. They bring terror to him, and set him on the path to a complete psychotic break.

Now, I'm not trying to claim that Silent Night, Deadly Night is some form of high art, or a brilliant film that examines the human psyche. In the end, it's just a slasher film. It's a low-budget affair, with middle-grade acting at best. Still, there is something oddly gripping about it. The story follows a logical progression, and delivers some truly good frights along the way. It is NOT something for the faint of heart, or for anyone looking for a "feel good" movie. It's a nasty little film, with a generous dose of sex, brutal violence and horrifying imagery. If this is your cup of egg nog, then I recommend giving it a watch!

And here, for your amusement, is the original trailer that stirred up so much controversy to begin with:

I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas

2011-12-13T16:41:00.001-06:00

If you're looking for a Christmas movie with a little less cheer and a little more fear, Black Christmas is the flick for you! As I've previously blogged, it has been cited by John Carpenter and Debra Hill as a huge inspiration for Halloween. Some claim it to be the first "slasher", but I feel it falls squarely into the "proto-slasher" category (i.e., it was one of the films that led to the slasher sub-genre, but doesn't completely belong to that classification). Regardless, of how you classify it, there is little doubt that it was a major influence on the stalk-and-slash fests of the late-seventies and the early-eighties.

Made in Canada in 1974, & directed by Bob Clark, this is one dark, atmospheric film. Clark would later go on to (rather ironically) direct the Yule Season classic A Christmas Story. In some ways, these two films represent the two different sides of Christmas. While many choose to ignore the darker aspects of the Season, this film pretty much wallows in it!

The premise is simple: a group of sorority sisters are being stalked by a madman during the Christmas break. The enigmatic stalker taunts the girls with obscene, disturbing phone calls. Sure, you've seen this plot a thousand times...but it originated here. Much like Psycho and Halloween, this film has been ripped-off time and again by lesser horror films (When A Stranger Calls pretty much copies entire scenes). It may not seem quite as scary to today's audience for this very reason, but it's still worth a viewing. Clark uses restraint when depicting the murders, going more for creep factor than gore. In fact, the blood is very minimal throughout.

I don't want to give too much away with spoilers, but I will say that the unseen stalker (who may or may not be named "Billy") is extremely disturbing. We never get a clear view of him, and the film leaves the audience to wonder about his motives and history. Some modern audiences won't care for such ambiguity, but I find it far more frightening. This guy doesn't NEED a motive...he's just nuts! We get lots of shots from the killer's POV (which would later become a major cliche of the slasher films, but it was rather new here), and hear his twisted, warped rants. It's a frightening glimpse into a truly sick mind.

The performances here are top-notch, with a fantastic cast. Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, John Saxon and the fantastic Marian Waldman all put in amazing turns. In fact, this flick has one of the best casts of any horror film, most especially a low-budget entry from the mid-seventies!

I'm really not going to go into any more detail here. If ya like the scary stuff, or you just want a change of pace from seeing It's a Wonderful Life for the 1000th time, then do yourself a favor and watch this film! It's a true horror classic, in every sense of the word!

One word of warning: don't get this fine flick confused with the recent remake (usually referred to as Black X-Mas). While I haven't seen that film, from the reviews I've read it seems it is pretty much the opposite of this one. Definitely see this one first!

I'll leave you with the original US trailer. It was originally released in the States as Silent Night, Evil Night. When the film tanked, they went back to the original title. (It also got another title when it was shown on TV of Stranger in the House)

The 12 Slays of Christmas

2011-12-09T13:08:00.000-06:00

Ahhh...the Christmas Season! It brings to one's mind visions of sugarplum fairies, fresh snow, the twinkling of lights...and Santa chasing folks with a bloody axe!!! What, this isn't YOUR idea of Christmas? Well, perhaps it should be!

A few years back I decided to watch a film that I had always heard was a classic of the horror genre, Black Christmas. This flick is often cited as a "proto-slasher", with some even proclaiming it to be the first of the sub-genre. John Carpenter and Debra Hill both cited it as a huge influence on them when they were formulating Halloween, and it continually cropped up on horror fan's websites as a "must see". While I'll save my review for another blog, I will agree that it was a true classic, on par with Hitchcock's Psycho. This, in turn, reminded me of another Christmas themed horror film I'd seen previews for as a kid, Silent Night, Deadly Night. In the process of searching for information about this flick, I discovered a whole little sub-genre-within-a-subgenre: The Christmas Slasher. In fact, I would go so far as to say there is just as many tales of terror for the Yule Season as there is for Halloween (in fact, it's entirely possible there are MORE).

Here is a list of those films I discovered. I don't claim for this to be all-inclusive, by any means. I'm sure there are plenty of Holiday Horror flicks I've yet to stumble across:

Black Christmas [aka: Silent Night, Evil Night, Stranger in the House] (1974)

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)

Christmas Evil [aka: You Better Watch Out, Terror in Toyland] (1980)

Silent Night, Deadly Night [aka: Slay Ride] (1984)

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

The Thirteenth Day of Christmas (1985)

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Elves (1989)

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)

Satan Claus (1996)

Santa Claws (1996)

Jack Frost (1997)

Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998)

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Nutcracker (2001)

The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

Christmas Nightmare (2001)

One Hell of a Christmas (2002)

Santa's Slay (2005)

Films to Keep You Awake: The Christmas Tale (2005)

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

Two Front Teeth (2006)

12-24 (2008)

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)

Silent Night, Zombie Night (2009)

Deadly Little Christmas (2009)

Bikini Bloodbath Christmas (Video 2009)

Saint (2010)

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011)

That's a helluva lot of Christmas Fear! I've only seen a small portion of these, but I'm extremely intrigued by the idea of it. What is it about Christmas that lends itself to horror films? Is this a backlash against the over-hyped holiday commercialism? Perhaps it's an expression of disgust at the way Christmas seems to be eclipsing Halloween & Thanksgiving by showing up in stores a bit earlier every year? Are we looking at a way of folks dealing with all the angst and tension that Christmas seems to bring with it? Do these films simply exist as a counter-balance to all the syrupy "feel good" movies that are shown ad-nauseum around this time of year? I don't know the answer, but I'm fairly fascinated!

In the days to come, I plan to take a closer look at a few of these movies. So, pour a cup of wassail, cut a piece of pumpkin pie, and join me for the fearful festivities! Oh, and pray that Santa doesn't have you on his naughty list!

Happy Halloween!!

2011-10-31T22:24:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone has a wonderful, spooky Halloween! Remember to keep your Jack O' Lantern light on tonight!

Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me

2011-10-18T15:11:00.000-05:00

A great song for the Halloween season! Warning, the video is so cheesy you may want a glass of wine!

The Moon-Rays- Skeletons In The Closet

2011-10-11T11:41:00.001-05:00

I've reviewed this band's work before, but I thought I'd share a vid from that fantastic disc! Just gettin' into the Halloween spirit!

Bauhaus Bela Lugosi's Dead Live At Coachella

2011-10-10T11:34:00.001-05:00

Cool live video of the Godfathers of Goth! This one is always in my Halloween Party playlist!

A Year Without a Halloween?

2011-09-09T11:57:00.000-05:00

Well, in case you were wondering where the hell I've been...my family and I are about to move! This is, overall, good news. We'll be moving to a better neighborhood, with a MUCH better house to haunt!!

Like most things in life, there is a downside. It appears we will be moving the weekend before Halloween!! ARRRRGH! This means that we won't be able to put out any of our decorations, other than a few Jack O's. You can imagine how distressing this is for me. No graveyard on the lawn, no Grim Reaper hanging from the tree, no spider-webs shrouding our home. Right now, those items are in storage, and it seems pointless to dig them out to only pack them up again. Hey, that coffin is a b!tch to move!!! I'm one sad monster about all this.

Still, this is the sacrifice that must be made for the here-and-now. Will there be no Halloween this year for the Ghastly Gill clan? Of COURSE there will be! We may not be able to turn our house into the usual museum of morbid delights, but we still will dress up and take to the streets! Sure, it won't be the same, but we'll still enjoy ourselves on the High Holiday. Best part about all of this? I'm already planning Halloween 2012!!!

R.I.P. Gene Colan

2011-06-24T14:57:00.000-05:00

The man responsible for all of those incredibly cool Tomb of Dracula comics has passed away. Sad news, indeed:

http://www.newsarama.com/comics/gene-colan-dead-at-84-110623.html

Just So You Know...

2011-06-10T13:41:00.000-05:00

I'm not dead...nor am I ignoring anyone! I've been having an issue lately that anytime I try to comment on anyone's post, I immediately get knocked back to the log-in page. If I get lucky enough to actually post a comment, then I'm promptly logged off right thereafter! Apparently, according to the lovely Shellhawk, this has something to do with Internet Explorer 9. Microsoft products always seem to have more bugs than a hoarder's house! Hopefully, this issue will be resolved soon, so I can get back to commenting on y'all's groovy postings! I'm still reading them, I promise!

This One Goes Out To The Frog Queen

2011-06-03T16:21:00.002-05:00

Yes, this video will freak my blogfriend, The Frog Queen, right out of her mind (sorry FQ). Still, it's worth watching for the ending alone!!!

http://vimeo.com/13681269

Creepy Short Film

2011-05-10T10:03:00.000-05:00

This was the winner of the Halloween Horror Nights 2009 Short Film Competition. Of course, I'm just seeing it now, but I thought it was a truly fantastic short flick. Nice, creepy and to the point!

My Kinda Easter...

2011-04-20T16:00:00.000-05:00

Major thanks to Pumpkinrot for sharing this bit of Mayhem! Looks like my buddy Sam from Trick 'r Treat is still lurking in the shadows! Really hope Mike Dougherty is able to get a sequel going in the near-future...

Black No. 1

2011-04-14T12:16:00.000-05:00

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the death of Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele. Peter was a giant, vampire viking who seemed like he could rip you in two...or just take you out for a beer. I always dug the fact that he tempered his dark, gloomy lyrics with a sly sense of humour. He never took himself, or his subject matter, too seriously. I'm fairly certain that he's somewhere laughing at his own corpse at the moment, as he always liked mocking the very concept of death. He wrote what was, in my opinion, one of the all-time great Halloween anthems:

Rest in peace, Peter.

The Art of Nathan Thomas Milliner

2011-02-18T12:28:00.000-06:00

I just discovered this guy...some truly amazing horror themed art:

See more at http://www.rebelrouserart.com/

Happy Valentines to All!

2011-02-14T15:11:00.001-06:00

Hope you give your heart to someone special on this lovely Valentine's Day!

Art by the amazing Zornow!

http://www.zornowmustbedestroyed.com/

http://zornow-must-be-destroyed.blogspot.com/

Unkle Pigor's Haunted Mansion

2011-02-10T12:39:00.000-06:00

I'm a big fan of Eric "Unkle" Pigors and his Toxic Toons. This one really jumped out at me, as it features his take on the organist from Disney's Haunted Mansion:

Be sure to check out more of my favorite Unkle's art on www.toxictoons.com

I Want To Live in THIS House!

2011-02-03T10:04:00.001-06:00

From {ziggy} on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30647036@N08/4020878650/

The History of the Haunted Mansion

2011-01-28T13:13:00.000-06:00

Saw this on Eric Pigor's (of Toxic Toons fame) Facebook page. A really fascinating history of my hands-down favorite ride at the Disney Parks. In many ways, going to the Haunted Mansion as a kid was one of the events that jumped-started my love of all things spooky.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2011-01-21T16:12:00.000-06:00

Okay, this particular blog entry has nothing to do with my usual type of topics...unless you consider birthdays to be horrifying!

Birthdays are, generally, something most folks hate when they get past the age of 25. Today, I turn a ripe age of 40. I've never had the issue with 40 that some people seem to have, and now that I've actually hit this age, I gotta say...what's the big deal? Sure, I'm not as fit and lean as I once was, and my hair is pretty well gone, but why is there such a stigma regarding the fourth decade of life? Is it because folks used to only live until 45 or so? Yeah, that was in the days of the old west, and medical science has vastly improved since then! I certainly feel like I am much wiser than I once was, and I look back on my youth with a sense of dismay more often than not. "What was I thinking" is the dominant thought on my mind when I look to those bygone days.

Still, I also feel like I have a much better perspective about who I was then than I even did at the time. Dumb decisions from my childhood and early adulthood are most often laughable to me, when at one point they were so serious. I also love the financial security that I have now, as opposed to those days when I was living off of Top Ramen and Patio microwave burritos. Sure, there is much to be said for youth, but stupidity seems to go along with it, so is it really so great? Maybe you look better, and feel physically stronger, but the downside is that you don't have the experience to deal with so many things that come your way.

Personally, I don't even view forty as "middle age", as I plan on living well past 100 (well, assuming I don't get hit by a bus, or the world doesn't end in 2012)! I don't view myself as "young" per se, but I'm not exactly ready for the nursing home either. So...how many of my readers are near, or past, forty? Do you truly feel that this age is a bad one, or does the good outweigh the bad? For those of you in your twenties, do you feel anyone over 40 is just "old" and completely out of touch, or do you view them as having valuable information and experience to share?

A New Year

2011-01-03T11:27:00.003-06:00

Well, 2011 is upon us, after 2010 flew by in a blur. For me, 2010 was the single busiest year of my life, and I rarely felt like I was having a moment to catch my breath. I had big plans for my haunt, my writing and this blog...all of which didn't come to fruition, primarily due to the everyday demands of this thing we call "life". Hopefully, this year will see at least a few of these plans come to be. Here's a few things I didn't get around to, that I hope I can deliver on in 2011:

My scarecrow. I've had plans to work on this guy all year. I started work on him in March, but I rarely got a moment to tinker with him. He sadly sits in pieces in my garage, awaiting me to assemble him on my mad-scientist table. On the plus side, I did pick up a few pointers here and there over the course of the year, so he'll actually look a helluva lot better than he would have if I had gotten the chance to complete him.

My book. I began a horror novel in the spring. I think I finished the prologue and that was about it! Considering that I consider this to be the first in a SERIES of books...yeah, I'd better get cracking!

My projection effect for the haunt. Of course, I need to actually buy a projector in order to do this. In all fairness to myself, I am still researching which projector would be best. I plan to also use this to create a "Star" effect for my church's Live Nativity (of which, I am the coordinator).

This here blog. You have NO idea how many blogs didn't get finished, thus not seeing print here. I had planned on doing my "Sounds of the Season" feature, like I did in October 2009, but I never got around to it. The demands of my job, with our scheduled inventory falling right in the Halloween season, pretty much torpedoed that one. I also had a lil' feature I wanted to do called "The 12 Slays of Christmas". I won't elaborate on that one, other than to say that I hope to have it finished by December of this year.

So, here's hoping that 2011 contains a bit more free time that this past year! Thanks to the readers I do have for dropping in to check out this lil' blog. It ain't much, but I have fun doing it. More than that, it has introduced me to all sorts of cool folks who have INCREDIBLE blogs that I rarely go a day without reading! Y'all are all wonderful, and I wish you the most wonderful blessings in 2011 and beyond!

Meet Stinky!

2010-11-19T19:11:00.003-06:00

When I first moved into my current home, it was the first time I'd lived in a house since I moved from my parent's home many years ago. Naturally, when Halloween rolled around, I instantly started thinking of what I could do to decorate my yard...having never had one of my own before! Mom & dad were never too keen on decorating the yard for any holidays, so I was lucky I even got Jack-O-Lanterns in those days. While walking through a Home Depot, a Grim Reaper prop caught my eye. I liked his simple design, and figured he would be fairly easy to store in the off-season.

I brought him home and my son, who was not even three at the time, instantly loved him. Since he couldn't pronounce "Reaper", it came out as "Reeker". This led to us bestowing our prop with the name "Stinky" (he actually doesn't smell bad at all).

Stinky has floated above my graveyard for the past six Halloweens, and I hope he'll last for many more. This year, he got a new, red light shining on him, which gave him a whole new look. The neighborhood kids all seem to think he's cool, and one of my neighbors praised him as looking "nice and creepy". So here's to Stinky! May he haunt with us for years to come!

A...My Name is Alice

2010-11-18T12:33:00.004-06:00

So, despite the crappy way these pics came out, I wanted to showcase one of my favorite aspects of my haunt: my spiders. Now, you can't really see it in these pics, but I had miniature spiders all over the place, most especially the entryway. Perched atop the bushes by said entryway, was my precious black widow, Alice. Alice herself is just a cheap spider I bought at Target, with very little extra work done to her. I saw her at the store amongst the Halloween decor and just thought she was groovy:

Many kids seemed wary of Alice, afraid she would pounce on them (she's a completely static prop, but they didn't know that). Of course, this guy didn't help:

The victim here, Vincent, was one of the easiest props I've ever created. Last year, I'd seen a similar prop in a Party City for $30, and just decided that is was too easy not to do myself. I took a cheap skeleton that had been given to me a while back (it was too fake looking to display as it was, so I'd put it away for future use), wrapped him in "webs" and covered him with more of the tiny, plastic spiders. I stuck him to the brick next to our door, and told kids he was a Trick or Treater that had the misfortune of being a treat for Alice!

Now, Alice wasn't my first giant spider. I have an older prop, that I've had to repair and re-attach the legs multiple times. Marilyn is a bit troublesome, but I just can't bear to part with her. Her territory is the tree in the center of my yard, and that is where she remains. This pic really doesn't capture her at all, unfortunately, but she deserves some recognition:

To me, spiders are an essential part of my haunt. They invoke an almost primitive fear response in some folks (they actually don't bother me at all, which makes it much easier to work with them), where just the suggestion of them can cause an attack of the heebie-jeebies!

Now, 10 points to anyone who can tell me where the names of my spiders and their victim came from! Alice and Vincent have a connection, while Marilyn is just going along with the theme.

Halloween 2010: The Recap

2010-11-15T16:09:00.004-06:00

Well, here it is now, several weeks since Halloween...and I've barely blogged at all about the night itself. This whole season (and pretty much the whole year) has been the most hectic in my memory. It's been a non-stop ride...and SO much has fallen by the wayside in the process. My job decided to have inventory the weekend of Halloween, so all of October was a mad-dash to prep for that. Hours upon hours at work conspired to infringe on time I'd usually spend shopping for props, or working on set pieces for the yard. The saddest piece of news is that my poor ol' scarecrow is still in pieces. I actually worked on him several times throughout the year, but I always seemed to run out of time, or have technical complications that set me back to square one. I knew when we got a week out that it just wasn't going to happen again this year. The only consolation I take is that I actually DID get some work done on him, and that I learned a whole lot from my mistakes.

This was hardly an isolated incident though, with so many of my plans never coming to fruition, or turning out half-@$$ed. Halloween day itself I was scrambling to get things into place, and still had to cut corners left and right. Many things went off without a hitch, while others were...interesting. My fog chiller worked like a charm...but the wind kicked up to blow it away almost as fast as it came out! I had a group of punks steal several props from my yard the night before, but I actually managed to figure out who had stolen them and get them back in time (this was the first year I've had to deal with this, and it irritated the crap outta me)! All of this led to me rushing with my costume, which turned out somewhat decent in spite of the lack of prep time.

All of this made me fear that Halloween itself was going to be a disaster. Despite a week of cooler temps, the 31st the barometer shot back up into the 80's. I've dealt with hotter Halloweens, but I still would have liked things to be a bit crisper, the way they had been the previous week. Well, despite ALL of the crap you're reading here, I can say that my fears that I was starring in a production of National Lampoon's Halloween Vacation were unfounded. Halloween itself was actually a wonderful night. My son and his buddies got dressed up, and had a blast running up and down the street scaring everyone. My costume was actually well-received, with many teenagers and younger adults running in fear from me! The younger kids seemed to dig it as well, though they didn't seem scared at all! In fact, I had one little girl, about four years old or so, walk up to me and say "are you a vampire"? When I answered in the affirmative, she smiled and said "I like your teeth!". Now that is just awesome! In fact, I think that alone made up for all of the crap I had dealt with earlier in the day.

So, another year down, and no...it wasn't everything I had hoped for. Most of the pics we took didn't turn out at all (really need a new camera. Here's hoping Santa is generous this year), and many of the plans I had just had to be dropped outright. Still, I have to say that I am still happy with how things turned out on the whole. My lighting improved greatly this year, I successfully completed a prop I had wanted to do forever...and it only took about five bucks to do it (more on that in an upcoming blog), and, most important of all, the kids had fun! Oh, and so did I!

More Toys!

2010-11-09T13:41:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite toy lines that I collect is the "stylized" rotocast figures from Mezco, which presents classic movie monsters & madmen...with a slightly cartoony look. The have a "cute yet creepy" look to them that I just really dig! Previously, I'd never displayed these guys together, not even at Halloween (they were kept on shelves, with their counterparts, i.e. Jason was with the Friday the 13th figures, Freddy with the Krueger figures, etc). I recently acquired the Michael Myers figure, and decided I just had to put all three out in the house for Halloween. I REALLY like the way these guys look standing side by side, so much so that I still have them together on a shelf of their own. Looking forward to their version of The Wolf-Man that is suppossed to hit next month!

Welcome to the Graveyard: Halloween 2010 Edition

2010-11-08T10:34:00.012-06:00

Some of y'all know of my love of toys & that I collect action figures, especially those involving monsters. In the past few years, I've done a graveyard scene in my entryway for Halloween, and every year I've varied up the figures, swapping out some characters for others. In some cases, such as Freddy, Jason or Michael Myers, I have multiple versions of the character to reflect the different looks they've had from different films, so I try to switch out which incarnations I use every year as well.

This year, my collection had expanded to include some zombies, as well as a few other iconic characters that I had aquired over the past year. I was fairly happy with the result. Unfortunately, my camera is just plain awful, all the way around. It didn't capture the look that the artificial tealights added to the display at all, which was wonderfully eerie. Still, these turned out better than the pics of the yard (which DIDN'T turn out at all). Man, I REALLY hope I get a new camera for Christmas!!

Anyway, despite the rather lackluster way these turned out, I still thought I'd share my pics:

Halloween Light Show

2010-11-04T12:50:00.001-05:00

Well, I know I promised I would post some pics...and I still will (don't worry, you aren't missing much. Most didn't turn out that great. I really need to ask for a decent camera for Christmas!). Still, I had to share this cool video. I've seen folks do similar themed light shows for Christmas, but this one totally blows all of those away. While I take a completely different approach to Halloween decorating...I gotta say I dig this!

2010-11-01T17:01:00.002-05:00

Still recuperating from Halloween night, so I won't spend a long time here. Just wanted to share this picture. Your's Truly, flanked by his minions! My son is the werewolf, while his buddy, Ethan, is the classic Dracula! This is what Halloween is all about!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T21:27:00.002-05:00

A wonderful, safe and blessed Samhain to one and all! Hope your Hallowe'en was wonderful! In the next few days, I'll try to get some photos up from tonights festivities. Looking forward to sharing thoughts with all of my Halloween Heads in the next few days, and plotting next year's haunts!

Hell's Bells

2010-10-28T10:29:00.001-05:00

No...not the AC/DC song, but possibly the weirdest cartoon ever produced by Walt Disney! This one comes from 1929:

Hey Kids! It's Almost Time!

2010-10-26T11:49:00.000-05:00

More Oingo Boingo!

2010-10-26T07:44:00.004-05:00

Okay, so my last post was of Oingo Boingo's perfect Halloween tune "Dead Man's Party". Well, I just had to share this video of "Stay" (which is also featured on the DMP album). The song itself isn't really Halloween related...but the video fits in with the theme quite well! Enjoy!

2010-10-22T07:56:00.002-05:00

To me, this song is a MUST at any Halloween party. Danny Elfman's classic band, Oingo Boingo, performing their brilliant tune "Dead Man's Party". This particular video was shot for the flick "Back to School", so it is (unfortunately) laced throughout with snippets from that film. Still, it's a great ditty to get you in that Halloween spirit!

The Art of Crash Cunningham

2010-10-21T07:55:00.010-05:00

I really dig this guy's take on various movie madmen and monsters. The Michael Myers pics are the covers he did for the comic series Halloween: Nightdance

Rise, O Great Pumpkin!

2010-10-13T10:17:00.004-05:00

This is one of my favorites from those sick geniuses at Robot Chicken! Their sequel to the Halloween classic It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Autumn is Here?

2010-09-23T12:08:00.005-05:00

Well, I'd just like to tell Summer: TAKE THIS BLASTED HEAT WITH YOU!

Bring on the Autumn!

In celebration, a photo by one of my favorite photogs: the lovely, talented Wendy Amdahl (hope ya don't mind, Wens)! This pic pretty much sums up Fall for me:

Check out more of Wendy's work at http://www.amdahlphotography.com/-/amdahlphotography/

2010-09-15T19:51:00.006-05:00

Most of you know of my love for Michael Dougherty's film Trick 'r Treat (I reviewed it last year, and I also talked about it LONG before the film had an official release). If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend it! It is, quite simply, the best film about Halloween since John Carpenter's 1978 masterpiece!

The central character to the film is one who isn't always the focus of the story: Sam is the spirit of Halloween itself, and he embodies all that the season is about. He is cute, yet mean as hell if you don't observe the All Hallow's Eve customs. Ever since I first saw Sam in animated form, in Dougherty's Season's Greetings short, I've been fascinated with the character.

Now, many of you DON'T know that I collect toys. Specifically, I collect figures of super-heroes and monsters. My monster collection actually gets partially displayed around Halloween, when I make a lovely graveyard scene for the entryway (since I have so many different monsters, I rotate out which figures I use every year). You can imagine when I heard that Sideshow collectibles was doing a figure of Sam, I just HAD to have it!

This is no ordinary figure though. NECA did a 7" scale figure of Sam that is pretty decent, but this is another class altogether. This guy stand 15" tall, and has real cloth clothing! My wife teases me that he is my "baby doll". Well, if so, then he's the coolest baby doll ever!!!

I decided it would be fun to photograph Sam in various spots throughout the house, making mischief and mayhem. Yeah, I'm weird that way.

I'm not promising anything, but I'm hoping to continue doing these through Halloween, as the decorations start to fill the house. He just seems like something that deserves to be seen amongst all my festive trappings!

Happy Friday the 13th!!!

2010-08-13T18:28:00.002-05:00

In honor of Friday the 13th, here's a couple of pics of Mr. Voorhees done by the incredible Brian Baugh:

Check out more of his fantastic artwork at http://www.cryptlogic.net

Earth A.D.

2010-08-11T23:38:00.003-05:00

The amazing artwork of Simon Bisley. This piece comes from his book Danzig: Hidden Lyrics of the Left Hand, which features Glenn Danzig's lyrics from The Misfits, Samhain and Danzig. I especially love his interpretation of Misfits guitarist Doyle in this pic

Video for Today: Calabrese - "Vampires Dont Exist"

2010-08-06T22:25:00.001-05:00

I've pimped this band before, and I shamelessly do so yet again! Here's a video for their song "Vampires Don't Exist". The tune was featured in Brian Pulido's film The Graves, which was featured recently in the "Afterdark Horror Fest 4", and the clip was made up of footage from this flick.

The song is from their second disc, The Traveling Vampire Show.

Video for Today: Squirrel Nut Zippers - Ghost of Stephen Foster

2010-08-05T21:10:00.000-05:00

You may have heard of the band before, but few people ever heard this song. Even fewer have seen this groovy vid! I love how authentic it is to the classic cartoons like Betty Boop and early Mickey Mouse. The tune, about the ghost of the songwriter of "Camptown Races", is a regular one in my Halloween mix. This song can be found on the SNZ's disc Perennial Favorites:

Video for Today: Alice Cooper & the Muppets

2010-08-04T21:25:00.001-05:00

Okay, so technically this isn't a video...but it's still worth viewing! In fact, as a young lad, this episode of the Muppets was my introduction to the frightfully fantastic music of Alice Cooper! I'm a fan to this very day!!!

Here's Alice and the Muppets doing "Welcome to My Nightmare"

Video(s) for Today: Lords of Salem/American Witch (animated)

2010-08-03T16:47:00.002-05:00

Today's vids are two of my favorites! These were created for Rob Zombie's tour by monster artist Dave Hartman. While the "American Witch" video was created first, the "Lords of Salem" piece was intended as a prequel of sorts, so I'm placing them in that order here. Two really great clips that truly convey the feel of their respective songs:

Video for Today: HIM - Wings of A Butterfly

2010-08-02T20:30:00.002-05:00

I'm hoping, in the next few weeks, to share a few videos I dig. In this day and age, the video is a quickly fading artform. Sure, bands still make them to promote their tunes, but not like they once did. MTV no longer runs anything outside of awful reality shows, so YouTube and band websites are really the only venues for many of these clips. The vast majority of videos today are by-the-numbers, ridiculous pieces that feature rappers with lots of cars and scantily-clad women. Not much thought goes into most of these, so it's always refreshing to catch a vid that stands out from the pack.

The following comes from "Love Metal" band HIM. I get a lot of crap for liking this band...mostly by dudes. I think most of them are threatened by Ville. Sure, he's all gothy-romantic, but I really dig the tunes (and, let's face it, the chicks dig the gothy-romantic thing!).This video is, in my opinion, one of their best (and, before anyone gets bent out of shape, this tune isn't advocating cruelty to pretty insects. The title is a reference to mythology). I love the use of lighting in this clip, and the "HIM Signal" is a clever device. It really isn't typical of most promotional pieces floating around, and it captures the feel of the song nicely.

I'm Not Dead....Yet!

2010-05-12T14:44:00.004-05:00

Yeah...so, it's been since December of last year that I've blogged. The first half of 2010 has been insane, to say the least. Without boring you to tears with a lengthy description of events, I'll just say that January through March were crazy with stuff at work. March saw me losing my job (despite all the hard work and long hours I was putting in), and I spent most of my time in April looking for employment. I finally landed a new job in May, but with all of the end-of-school-year activities...well...I've barely had time to catch my breath!

I've tried to check in on the blogs I follow, but sitting down to write has just been something I haven't had a moment for. Towards the beginning of the year, I started a novel I had long been formulating, but that too has been put on the back-burner as the result of just not having a moment to myself. The scarecrow I've been working on for my yard haunt sits in pieces in my garage, sadly half-formed. It's truly a sad state of affairs, but this is what happens when you have kids! Of course, I wouldn't trade it for the world...but I'm damned happy the summer has arrived!!! Oh, I'm not enjoying the blistering Texas heat, the ridiculous Houston humidity or the ever-present threat of hurricane season, but I'm happier'n a pig in poop to have school be out! No extra-curricular activities! YAY!

So...my hope is to have more than a couple of blog posts before October. If possible, I'd also like to get my scarecrow assembled, work on my book and actually get some sleep! Here's hoping!!!!

The Legend of the Lords of Salem

2009-12-03T21:53:00.003-06:00

I know, I know...I haven't posted squat since Halloween, and I still don't have any of the pics up from that night. As usual, things are crazy busy between work, the kid's activities and all the holidaze. I apologize, and I'll state right now that I'll try to get back on track, although I ain't promisin' a damned thing!

In the meantime, I thought I'd share a piece I wrote up for Rob Zombie's site a while back. At the time, he had just released his Educated Horses album, which featured the song "The Lords of Salem". Zombie's band would sometimes be referred to by this moniker, and he dropped little story pieces here and there for the premise behind the song itself. At one point, he asked folks to contribute art and what-not that was related to the "Lords" story. This particular bit was my contribution, although I won't go so far as to call it a story...more of a narative to build on the mythos. Nothing ever really came of this piece, but I thought it was okay enough to save. It isn't really fully fleshed out, and I've considered revisiting it, possibly as a longer story, but I'm not sure. Maybe someday. Anyhoo, here it is:

The Legend of The Lords of Salem
By D. Gill

In the year 1666, legend states that a group of four men met in the woods outside of Salem, Massachusetts to make a secret pact with the demon known as Baal Davar. This blasphemous confederation came to be known as “The Lords of Salem”. Until now, little has been known of these men, other than what was whispered in local folklore. Locals had often talked of four figures on horseback, each wearing a mask embossed with the image of a human skull, riding through the night. Wherever these sightings occurred, plagues and strife seemed to follow. Recently discovered documents, attributed to “Nomadrac the Conqueror”, have shed some light on this unholy alliance.

According to the writings of Nomadrac, The Lords made their pact with Baal in order to gain power and immortality. The demon made them into his agents on earth, sending them forth to sow evil amongst the people. The Lords integrated themselves into the population of Salem, secretly practicing their dark arts amongst the Puritans. At first, the spells and curses upon the townspeople were attributed to natural causes, but in 1688 this all changed when Martha Goodwin, a local girl, began to exhibit signs of possession. Soon, her siblings also began acting strangely, attracting the attention of the local pastor. According to Nomadrac’s writings, The Lords had sent demonic beings to plague the children, knowing that their standing in the community would place them above suspicion.

In January of 1692, two more children began to show signs of the same affliction, ultimately leading to the infamous “Salem Witch Trials”. While almost 200 people were accused of being “witches”, with 20 of them being executed, The Lords were not amongst them. They had managed to deflect suspicion onto innocent parties, and had turned neighbor against neighbor. Their master was pleased. The Hebrew name for Baal, after all, is “Satan” (“The Accuser”). Simealtaneously, war broke out in Eastern Maine with the Abernaki Indians. Crops started to die, mysterious illnesses came upon the townsfolk, and the food supply appeared to be in jeopardy. War, Famine, Pestilence and Death were all being visited upon the people of Salem, in the form of four agents of Lucifer. As the furor over the witch trials began to subside, The Lords plotted to expand their evil beyond the borders of Maine.

Fortunately, two men saw beyond the machinations of this secret cabal. Reverend Francis Dane and his ally, Increase Mather, had long suspected that there was an unseen, malevolent force behind all this. While both rigorously defended the accused in court, they secretly enlisted the aid of a Christian Mystic, known only as “Joshua”. They kept the involvement of Joshua from the Puritans, knowing that they would only view him as another “witch”. Joshua travelled from Egypt, where he had studied with a secret order for most of his life. He was an expert on the occult, and had trained for years to battle with the forces of Baal. Joshua tracked down The Lords, and met them in battle. According to the journals of Mather, Joshua fought them with his own magicks for over a week. Finally, bloodied and bruised, he managed to bind the four demonic agents with a Holy invocation, not used since the time of the Apostles. Unable to slay them, as they had been granted immortality by their master, he buried them deep within the earth on hallowed ground. The Lords reign of terror was over…or was it?

In early 2006, several sightings of four men on horseback, each wearing a mask depicting a skull, were reported throughout Maine. Soon, they were seen in the rest of the States, and even overseas. Like the incidences in the 1600’s, the appearance of these spectres always seems to coincide with sickness and death. One rancher, stunned one morning to find his entire herd dead from a mysterious illness, found a message burned into the side of his barn “The Lords Ride Again”. Some speculate that the once hallowed ground that The Lords had been bound in had somehow been desecrated, possibly by unknowing developers. Still others believe that Baal has new agents here on earth, taking up the mantle of those that brought such pain and despair to Salem centuries before. Whatever the case, it seems that something evil has, once again, been unleashed upon mankind. Be vigilant, for if these four horsemen are once again amongst us, then their master is plotting to bring about horrors the likes of which we’ve never seen.

Sounds of the Season: Calabrese

2009-10-29T10:54:00.014-05:00

Okay, I originally planned to do a whole helluva lot more of these "Sounds of the Season" things, but the time is getting away from me awful fast. In all reality, I don't know if I'll be able to blog anymore before Halloween, so I may have to save some of the stuff I intended for NEXT year. *sigh* I've tried to represent a fairly diverse batch of music, and maybe not feature bands that are well known to all.

One band I've wanted to blog about for a VERY long time is Calabrese, a horror punk band from Phoenix, AZ. Now, for those not in the know, Horror Punk is a genre that is pretty self explainitory. While it can trace its roots to seminal punk band The Damned, the first "true" horror punk band was the legendary Misfits. In the wake of the 'Fits, many bands sprung up adopting their ghoulish looks and spooky lyrics, often with mixed results. Calabrese is one of the few acts that has successfully managed to pay homage to the Misfits, while also expanding and incorporating other diverse influences.

Calabrese is comprised of three brothers, using their last name as the band's moniker. All three sport a look that resembles the T-Birds from Grease...if they had become the thralls of Dracula! Their sound is a driving horror punk that features elements of hard rock, southern rock and rockabilly. Lyrically, they spin classic tales of terror that wouldn't be out of place in the EC comics of yore. Songs like "Voices of the Dead", "Midnight Spookshow" and "Your Ghost" are catchy as hell, yet have a hard rocking edge.

One of my favorite elements of this band is the fact that they never sacrifice their sound to be "safe", yet you can play their discs around your kids without any worry (unless the subject matter worries you...and if it does why the hell are you reading MY blog???). I know I've mentioned whether or not these discs could be played with children around on pretty much every one of these entries, and it has nothing to do with prudishness (for those that know me, I hear you laughing at that notion!). Being a dad myself, I pay attention to those types of things, and I make sure to not play certain songs around my kids. I figure if you are reading this, and considering getting some of this music for a Halloween party, you might want to know if it is kid friendly if you are a parent. I digress. My point is, quite simply, that Calabrese doesn't have a buncha F bombs in their tunes, but none of their stuff seems like it has been homogenized to please the masses. It is still kick ass hard rocking punk!

One of the reasons I think Calabrese works so well is that they don't seem to take themselves too seriously. The tongue is always planted firmly in cheek, and it frees them up to just have a good time with their tunes of terror. I had the pleasure of seeing these guys last year in San Antonio, and they were just as good live as they are on record (a true rarity with many bands). They play with an energy and ferocity that is missing in much modern Horror Punk (oh, and they can actually PLAY! That also sets them apart)! Now, don't get me wrong: they take their music VERY seriously, but everything else about them is done with a wink and a gnash of the fangs. Oh, and don't tell anyone, but they're actually really nice guys. They spent hours indulging me asking them question after question, and they graciously took the time to listen and answer.

Back to the tunes...yeah, these guys kick all kinds of ass. They have two full length discs: 13 Halloweens and The Travelling Vampire Show, both of which are solid, fear-filled spins through a haunted world (a third disc is currently being recorded). You can purchase their discs from their official site, as well as all kinds of cool merch (these guys have recruited some of the best artists in the horror medium to create fantastic shirts and stickers): http://www.calabreserock.com/store/index.html

You can also get their discs off of iTunes, including their now out-of-print first EP, Midnight Spookshow, which contains earlier versions of tunes that later appeared on the full-length releases.

In short, no band SINCE the Misfits has been able to pull off horror punk the way these guys have. Quite frankly, I find them to be the true heirs to the 'Fits legacy, far surpassing other bands in the genre. If you dig this sound, and just want to have some great rocking tunes for your Halloween party, then check out Calabrese. They truly are the world's greatest Horror Rock Band!!!

Sounds of the Season: The Moon-Rays

2009-10-28T07:13:00.006-05:00

Most folks are unaware of the long history swing & big band music has with Halloween. I myself was oblivious to this until I heard some of these amazing tunes on Mr. D's MySpace page (it ain't around anymore, otherwise I'd post a link). Musicians like Lois Armstrong had Halloween hits in their day, but most of these tunes disappeared into obscurity after rock replaced big band as the dominant musical genre. In more modern times, we've had some acts who've recorded Halloween party-appropriate tunes in this style (Squirrel Nut Zippers and The White Ghost Shivers spring to mind), or who've incorporated elements of the genre into their tunes(Oingo Boingo), but no one has really revisited those songs of yesteryear...until now!

The Moon-Rays are an indie band I was introduced to by my soul-sister, Wendy the (VERY) Good Witch. With their album, Swingin' at the Seance, the Moon-Rays have dug up those old classic jazz, big band & swing tunes and strapped them to the mad-scientist's table. With their own brand of jivin' electricity, they've brought these beasts back from the dead...and unleashed them on YOUR Halloween party!!

The vast majority of these tunes I had never heard, and I was amazed at this fact! These songs are wonderful, fun romps that pay loving respect to this most wonderful of holidays. Add in the fact that the band is a tight, well oiled machine that can actually handle these tunes (something not many acts could do, in all honesty), and you've got one hell of a Halloween disc on your hands! I dare you to listen to tunes like "You've Got Me Voodoo'd" or "Headless Horseman" and not tap your feet! Kids will love these, as they're just FUN ditties all the way around, and adults will appreciate the fine musicianship. Anyone who loves Halloween will dig the imagery being weaved throughout. For good measure, the Moon-Rays have included a couple of original compositions, but these tunes blend in so perfectly with the vintage numbers that you'd have to have a fairly extensive knowledge of these songs to pick them out without benefit of the liner notes.

Speaking of liner notes, in this day and age when CD packaging is becoming a thing of the past, The Moon-Rays have opted to give us a disc with extensive pictures, notes and artwork (all lovingly assembled and designed by Wens herself)! This gives an added element that is missing from so many modern albums, with pics and artwork to add to the mood, and notes to give you a sense of the history involved.

Upon my first listen, I have been hooked! Swingin' at the Seance is an instant Halloween classic, and it will find itself in rotation at all my future Samhain shindigs! Let me be clear about this: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this disc, and if you are a Halloween nut even remotely into swing, jazz or big band then this is a MUST for you! You can snag yourself a copy at CDBaby or Amazon!

Sounds of the Season: Halloween Hootenanny/The Ghastly Ones

2009-10-26T19:50:00.003-05:00

Surf rock and monsters have a long history together. Surf culture, for whatever reason, really embraced the classic monsters of yesteryear, and incorporated them into their iconography. Did this start with the classic surf rock theme song to The Munsters, or was that theme the result of surfers being enamoured of our favorite creatures? I'm not sure of how it all began, but today the two are inextricably linked. Surf rock is often played at Halloween parties, and a whole slew of surf bands have arisen in the past several years that wear their love of all things spooky on their sleeves.

In the late 90's, ghoulish rocker Rob Zombie assembled a macabre gang of his favorite bands to craft the ultimate Halloween party album: Halloween Hootenanny!

Now, you might think with Mr. Zombie in charge, that all the music would be in the vein of his signature growling metal, but nay! This is a completely different beast altogether, with bands like Reverend Horton Heat, Los Straightjackets, Deadbolt, The Dead Elvi and (my personal favorite)The Ghastly Ones! These bands, for the most part, skew towards the surf rock genre, and the result is a fun, spooky romp. Nothing on the disc is remotely offensive, and you can freely spin this one with kids in the room. Even Mr. Zombie joins in the fun, with a tune backed by The Ghastly Ones (Rob Zombie does surf rock! Yes, it is all kinds of awesome!). This is a perfect Halloween party disc, through and through, and it's great for all ages. My kids love this album as much as I do (their personal favorite is The Dead Elvi track "The Creature Stole My Surfboard").

While on the subject, I'll spotlight one of the bands featured...the aforementioned Ghastly Ones. They describe their style as "Haunted Garage and Cemetery Surf"...and you really couldn't have a better description! With tunes about spooks, monsters and "Go-Go Ghouls", you really can't ask for a more fun-filled, Halloween appropriate band to play at your Samhain shindig! Their first disc, A-Haunting We Will Go-Go is currently out of print, but if you do some digging you can still find it in some CD online outlets. Failing that, you can find many of those tunes re-recorded on their third disc, Unearthed (some fans argue that these versions are actually better than the originals, but I'll let you decide). Their second album, Target: Draculon, is equally packed with ghoulish grooves that will have you doing the Ghastly Stomp until dawn!

To snag some Ghastly Ones tunes, head on over to their official store:

http://www.ghastlyones.com/merch.htm

and to get your claws on Halloween Hootenanny, pop on over to Halloween Town:

http://www.halloweentownstore.com/page/HS/PROD/CD109

I give both of these extremely high recommendations. No, they aren't remotely similar to my previous entry (Midnight Syndicate), but they are equally excellent for getting you in the Halloween mood. For me, Halloween encompasses a fairly wide spectrum, so these fit the bill as well.

Sounds of the Season: Midnight Syndicate

2009-10-23T13:49:00.006-05:00

Anyone who knows me in any real capacity is well aware that I love music. Moreover, I'm a fan of incredibly diverse musical styles. Everything from Mozart to the Misfits to Madonna gets played in my home, office and car. To me, music is incredibly crucial to setting moods, so it comes as no surprise that I find different genres appealing for different feelings or activities.

For the Samhain Season, there are a variety of artists and albums that can appeal to the Autumn children. I'm going to make the attempt to spotlight a few of these artists in the days leading up to Halloween. The artists or albums being examined will be as diverse as my tastes, and will often be more obscure acts. Everyone is well aware of the Halloween potential of Alice Cooper or Rob Zombie, but there are other acts who deserve to be played right along with them.

If you are a "home haunter", or just dig creepy musical scores, then you can't go wrong with Midnight Syndicate. They aren't exactly what you want for a hoppin' Halloween party, but if you're looking for something to spook the trick-or-treaters, or just want something to put you in that eerie mood, then they're just right for you! Most of the Syndicate's albums act as soundtracks to horror movies....that have never been made. The discs generally don't have lyrics, but use sound effects and music to convey a sort of story to the listener. Your imagination is left to fill in the details of the actual tale. My favorite disc, The 13th Hour, is a haunted house theme, revolving around Harverghast Mansion....a place with a bit of horrid history to it, it would appear.

Midnight Syndicate have been heard in haunted attraction throughout the US, and even used at Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights. Recently, their music has even graced actual films, with them scoring horror films The Rage and The Dead Matter (the latter featuring a script from the Syndicate team themselves). The lush, gothic scores create a foreboding mood that always puts me in the right frame of mind for Halloween.

You can find their music at most of the Halloween superstores, such as Spirit, Halloween Express and Party City. You can also order online (and sample some of their tunes) here:

http://www.midnightsyndicate.com/welcome.htm

Some of their earlier efforts, such as Born of the Night and Realm of Shadows are now out of print, but you can find them still at their online store (sometimes you can get lucky and unearth them at the aforementioned stores. I actually happened upon both of these titles at different Spirit shops. Both are great, most especially Born of the Night). Seriously, if you like haunting musical scores that make you think of haunted houses, vampire-plagued castles and possessed insane asylums, then you absolutely MUST check these guys out!

The "Christmas Creep"

2009-10-14T07:11:00.004-05:00

I like Christmas, I really do...but not UNTIL the actual season starts (which is on Thanksgiving Day, as far as I'm concerned). Over the past few years, I've noticed stores being afflicted by the "Christmas Creep"...putting merchandise & Christmas decorations up EARLIER AND EARLIER. Heck, last year I went into one store that had Christmas music playing over the PA....in the first week of October! In some cases, I've seen decorations going up as early as August!!! Last year the Wal-Mart by my house was putting up their Christmas Tree...on Halloween Day!!

This bugs me for several reasons. First up, it represents nothing more than a crass commercialism of the Yule season, with stores going for the quick cash grab in the off-season, hoping to get people in the mood to start their shopping earlier in the year. Second, it means that by the time Christmas actually rolls around I'm utterly sick of the music, lights and decorations...they become robbed of their special quality when they've been around for months on end.

The biggest reason this irks me? It steps all over my favorite holiday of Halloween, and usually means that Thanksgiving gets utterly ignored altogether. This year I noticed Target putting aisles of Christmas crap all around the Halloween section, with it growing every week as the Halloween aisles shrink. Damn it, enough is enough!!!!! Let Halloween and Thanksgiving have their time. Autumn belongs to these holidays, while Christmas and New Years can dominate winter (as it should be). We don't need to see tinsel and holley in August (unless those happen to be the names of your favorite strippers at the local topless bar). Let's put a stop to the "Christmas Creep" once and for all!

Trick 'r Treat Review

2009-10-08T12:18:00.003-05:00

At long last, I picked up my Blu-Ray of Trick 'r Treat on Tuesday! After waiting (literally) years for this movie, I wondered if it could live up to my own built up expectations. Well, I can honestly say that it actually far surpassed them, which is an extreme rarity when it comes to films for me!

I won't get into spoiler territory, but I will say that Michael Dougherty has crafted a phenomenal film, filled with love and affection for the Halloween season. Every scene is chocked-full of the trappings of this wonderful holiday, and you'd be hard-pressed to find another movie that could so easily put you in the spirit. The legends and lore that are the backbone of Samhain are on display here, creating a fun, scary joyride through the mythology that led to All Hallow's Eve.

Central to the proceedings is Dougherty's finest character, Sam. Sam is, quite simply, the Spirit of Halloween. He is cute, mysterious, mischievous, vengeful, playful, creepy and downright vicious! He truly embodies everything that Halloween can be, and that just makes him such a delightful character. He takes his place alongside Dracula, The Wolf-Man, Michael Myers, Freddy, Jason etc as a true big screen boogeyman...but also fits in nicely with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Sam first made his debut in animated form, in a short film Dougherty did in college called "Season's Greetings" (a favorite of mine, which is included on the disc with the film!). Rendered in live-action, he retains his cute-but-demonic aspect. While he isn't always the focus of the four interwoven stories, he is present in all of them. He enforces the rules of Halloween, and punishes severely those who break them!

If you are a fan of horror, you'll enjoy this...but I also recommend this flick for anyone who just loves Halloween. It isn't a movie you want to show younger kids (at least not until they're older), but teens will love it. It is scary, cute, funny, creepy, sexy and just plain fun...in other words, it is all the things Halloween itself is! This is easily the best film centered around the holiday since John Carpenter's 1978 masterpiece, and in many ways this film is far more all-encompassing, since it focuses on the lore and magic of All Hallow's Eve itself. I give this flick my highest possible recommendation! See it soon...or Sam may be paying you a visit!!

Let the Trick 'r Treating begin!

2009-10-06T11:23:00.002-05:00

At long last, WB will FINALLY release the film Trick 'r Treat on DVD & Blu-Ray today! Yeah, it blows goats that they didn't give it a theatrical release (considering that it's the best reviewed horror film in 30 years), but at least we'll FINALLY get to see this flick.

I've previously blogged about the ridiculous struggle to get this film released, and the incredibly insipid way that Warner Bros. has handled this flick, so I won't go into all of that here. I'm Just happy to know that we get to see this little gem. I know I'll be having a viewing party for like-minded individuals this weekend!

Kreativ Bloggers

2009-09-29T17:54:00.010-05:00

A VERY happy first day of October, the greatest month of the year!

First off, a big thanks to Wendy the VERY Good Witch, who nominated me for this! Wens and I have been cyber-buddies for a few years now, going back to the early days of MySpace. She's as big of a Halloween freak as I am, creative as all get-out, and a lovely soul on top of it all! Her blog, The Halloween Tree, is one of my favorite haunts on the net.

Okey-day, here's the dealio:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the Logo and Place it in your Blog.
3. Link the person who nominated you.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.
5. Nominate 7 "Kreativ Bloggers".
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs and let them know you nominated them.

Seven things you don't know about me? Hmmmm....

1. I love superheroes as much as I love monsters, and I'm a rabid comic collector

2. I collect toys, specifically monsters and superheroes (imagine that! Yeah, I'm a TOTAL geek!)

3. When I lived in Austin I got to meet and hang out with Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Richard Linklater, Nickie Katt, Willie Nelson and Bruce Campbell (not at the same time, mind you). All of them were super nice folks who were fairly down to earth.

4. I'm a sometimes actor who has also produced a play! While I prefer the stage, I've also done commercials and voice-over work.

5. When I lived in San Antonio, I moonlighted as a celebrity impersonator. I did various shows, birthday parties, etc. portraying such folks as Prince, Ozzy Osbourne, Mick Jagger, Kid Rock and Freddy Krueger. My strangest gig? Being hired to impersonate Ozzy for a high school prom!

6. For years I was the regular Dr. Frank N. Furter in the Houston cast of Rocky Horror. My final show was Halloween 2000 in Galveston. I hope to one day direct my own theatrical production of the original stage show.

7. I'm actually an ordained minister. I've even officiated two sets of friends' weddings!

Now, for the blogs I nominate (it was hard only including 7!):

The amazing, incomparable Trixie Treats!

Next up are two entries by members of Calabrese, the world's GREATEST HORROR ROCK BAND! Brothers Jimmy Calabrese and Bobby "Vamp"
Calabrese share their thoughts on all things spooky!

For those of you who dig home haunting and amazing Halloween photography, check out Pumpkin
Rot's blog! He's got an amazing page, and an even more stunning website!

The amazing art of Doo Wacka Doodles! Nuff Said!

Dig monsters? Check out Skeleface: Keeping it Killer!

My last entry is the blog for House of Mysterious Secrets, a great site for ordering horror-themed goodies! Everything from t-shirts to toys is available! My wife pretty much does all of her birthday/Christmas/Father's Day shopping for me from this site

Well, that should just about do it! Everyone get out there and decorate your houses and yards with spooky stuff! The Samhain Season is upon us!!!

Where Lurks the Gill-Man?

2009-08-24T19:02:00.003-05:00

Okay, so both of you who read my blog may have wondered where the h-e-double-hockey-sticks I've been. Yes, once again I have disappeared into my murky lagoon, without hide nor scale to be seen of me. Well, it all comes down to one simple reason: surgery. No, mad scientists did not try to turn this fish-man into an air-breather...I actually had surgery on my spine. For the past year I've had excruciating pains in my lower back and hip, and I've dealt with problems like this off and on for years, so the time had come to take care of this issue.

For the first couple of weeks I just didn't feel like messing with keeping up with my blog, or anything else for that matter. I basically laid around the house, totally lazy (with the exception of my hour long nightly walk that the doctor requires). I'm slowly returning to my old ghastly self, so it seemed time to let y'all know that I still live. In the next few weeks, I plan to begin my Halloween decorations in earnest. The biggest challenge right now is that I cannot lift anything over five pounds, so my kiddos have to assist me with any lifting. This is damned frustrating, as you can imagine.

On the plus side, I've binged on movies the past several weeks, most especially horror flicks. I got re-aquanted with many old horror films I hadn't seen in forever (I especially enjoyed seeing the original version of My Bloody Valentine again. That flick is a slasher that actually holds up pretty well).

Anyhoo, that's all! I'm alive, and still lurking in the shadows underneath your bed!!!

Horror Remakes: A Necessary Evil?

2009-07-24T14:54:00.008-05:00

Hollywood, as everyone is well aware, is on a major remake kick right now. Everything from Footloose to Fame is being remade, and it seems that originality is being ignored by and large. Of course, this is nothing new in the world of film. The celluloid world has always gone through periods where producers have looked to the hits of the past to bring in new audiences. The thought seems to be that, if it was a success once, then it will be again.

No genre is this more prevelant than in that of horror films. Most early films in the genre were adaptations of gothic novels, penny dreadfuls, or folklore. Within a short time, the silent films were remade as "talkies", with these black & white entries eventually giving way to colored reinvisionings. In recent times, the horror films of the 70's and 80's have been dredged up, with classics like Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Omen, Friday the 13th and The Amityville Horror all getting the updated treatments. Naturally, many horror fans find these films to be akin to blasphemy, as the originals are viewed as near-perfect in their ability to produce sheer terror. While I can understand this reaction, I present an alternate viewpoint: horror remakes as a necessary evil to keep these stories alive.

Back when Hammer films began their revamps of the classic Universal horror films, many afficianados of terror balked at the idea of someone other than Bela Legosi donning Dracula's cape. By the time Hammer's films hit the market, the characters of Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula had long been absorbed into the collective consciousness of pop culture. Children the world over dressed as these characters for Halloween, and they were parodied in cartoons and novelty songs. Pictures of the monsters appeared on magazine covers and all sorts of varied media. This type of over-exposure led to the characters becoming mainstays of day-to-day life, rendering them completely tame. They no longer had the impact they once did on audiences, because they had lost their ability to scare. How terrifying can a creature be that appears on your cereal bowl? Since books like Frankenstein and Dracula were in the public domain, Hammer had no problem with using these stories for new films, so long as they didn't copy the Universal films outright. In doing so, they actually made films that were highly watchable, as they deviated enough to keep viewers interested. In short, they made the characters scary again. The villians didn't appear exactly as they had originally been depicted in the Universal movies, and the stories took new, surprising turns. Today, Christopher Lee's portrayal of Dracula is regarded by many to be just as iconic as that of Legosi.

Many people of my generation can recall cowering in the dark at sleep-overs to the sight of Freddy Krueger killing teens in their dreams. We can remember staying up late to watch Jason hack up horny campers, or see Michael Myers stalk babysitters. We grew up watching these films, and they scared the crap out of us! As time went on, these characters started to lose their edge. We grew accustomed to seeing kids in goalie masks or striped sweaters on Halloween, and we'd seen too many fat guys with chainsaws at the local haunted house to find Leatherface even slightly threatening. For the generations coming after us, these characters were funny (if they were even aware of them). Freddy and Jason were lampooned on The Simpsons and Family Guy, and the films themselves became self-parodying (you know when they start having these villians killing folks in outer-space they have run out of ideas). These monsters wound up following in the footsteps of their Universal predescessors by becoming pale imitations of what they had once been.

The only way for a series that is so long in the tooth to truly survive is for it to get the remake treatment. The characters themselves need to be given a fresh start, without the bogged down continuity that seems to come with numerous sequels. Now, I will admit that the majority of the time, Hollywood screws the pooch with this. You usually wind up with one of two types of remakes. Flicks like the redux of The Amityville Horror which lose the essential elements of the original in the attempt to try to make their own mark on the original story. On the other hand, you have films like Gus Van Zandt's take on Hitcock's masterpiece Psycho, an almost frame-by-frame copy of the original. Sure, the young people who go to the movies to see this film have probably never watched the classic version, but for those that have....Booooooooooring!

Occassionally, Hollywood gets it right. Some filmmakers find a way to balance being true to the source material, while also creating an engaging story that has some originality. John Carpenter's The Thing is probably the best example of a remake done right. Carpenter took the concept from 1951's The Thing From Another World, and crafted an engaging, terrifying classic of the genre. The plots are the same, but the story itself is updated in a way that still keeps the viewer guessing, regardless of how many times he or she has seen the original. David Cronenberg took a similar approach when he remade the 1958 b-movie, The Fly, taking the same basic premise and turning it into a disturbing, creepy masterpiece. I often read or hear horror fans declare that "all remakes suck", but I have to point to these films as a refutation of such a theory.

Quality issues aside, these remakes serve another purpose entirely, and that is to introduce new generations to these characters and stories. Many young people are reluctant to seek out older films, particularly if they belong to a franchise that has dozens of sequels. To them, the effects are bad, the stories cheesy and the characters comical. Much of this stems from the aforementioned fact that these characters have been in the pop culture conciousness for so long. It is difficult to find anything even remotely frightening about a character that you've seen thousands of times over the years, begging for candy on your doorstep. The characters have become iconic in their own right, but the downside is that this creates familiarity. The familiar is rarely frightening.

Remakes give the filmmakers the chance to build the story again from the ground up, putting a fresh face on an old story. Sadly, many don't take advantage of this to the full extent that they could, often just delivering a half-baked rehash of what had gone before. Still, the ultimate goal is fulfilled to deliver a new generation their own version of a classic story, Some will argue that the new generation should get their OWN classic stories, but it rarely works this way. In fact, almost all stories are variations on those previously told at one point or another. Whether it be something like Star Wars, telling the classic myths in a sci-fi setting, or Halloween, updating the legend of the boogeyman, all stories have some sort of tie to those that have been previously told. Going back to the days when humans gathered by a fire in a cave, listening to the old storyteller weave his tales, stories would be absorbed into the listener's mind to be later told again. Naturally, those tales would be altered somewhat with each telling, growing in scope and details. Film is a modern medium for that same process, the only difference being that the original tale is preserved for future viewing as well. The "new" stories being told may seem original, but they really aren't. They ultimately re-examine previously established archetypes. The originality comes in with the manner in which they go about telling the same old tale.

By no means am I trying to say that filmmakers shouldn't strive for originality. In fact, I'd like to see some true, new horror boogeymen to arise in modern culture. Still, the ones that have been established, and risen to the ranks of iconic status, are worthy of being pulled down from the shelf and dusted off from time to time (and, maybe, given a fresh coat of paint as well). Let's face it, when was the last time Freddy Krueger was anything even remotely resembling scary? Part 3? In the original, he was a dark, demonic character hiding in your dreams. By the time you get to the last few movies of the series he was a wise-cracking, comedic figure...a sort of Horror Henny Youngman. With A Nightmare on Elm St. currently being remade, many fans are up-in-arms at a new actor taking on the role from Robert Englund. Naturally, Englund is responsible for much of what made the character so iconic to begin with, but therein also lies the problem. His take on the character is the ONLY one, so therefore it is the defining take. Not much new or interesting can be done with the character, UNLESS you bring in a new actor to look at the character from a different angle. Jackie Earle Haley, of Watchman fame, has been cast in the role, and it is said that his take hearkens back to Englund's portrayal in the original, but with an even darker tone. It remains to be seen if this will be successful in returning Mr. Krueger to his previous status of a truly terrifying villian, but it looks like Haley is on the right track.

I'd love to see a slow-down on the remake front, or at least see some films that could benefit from having updated special-effects get the remake treatment. Alas, the remake is a necessary evil for the survival of big screen boogeymen. Without the remake, these characters would fade into obscurity. Part of why Dracula remains such a well-known screen villian is due to the fact that he has appeared in more films than any other character. While the majority of these are quite bad, the ones that DO manage to bring something interesting to the story cause him to be re-invigorated for new audiences. The same holds true for all of the Hollywood horror icons. They need the remake like a vampire needs blood!

The "Death" of Horror?

2009-06-03T07:23:00.005-05:00

So, I stumbled across this guy's blog, where he gives reasons why the horror genre is "dying":

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-11229-Newark-Film-Examiner~y2009m5d27-Seven-reasons-why-the-horror-genre-is-dying

Well, pardon me for being skeptical, but I've been to this funeral before. Horror is always around, but the quality is always in flux. People seem to forget that, during any given point in history, there are always some true classics of the genre...and a whole lot of complete garbage.

Going back to horrors "golden age" of the Univeral Monsters, you had the classics like Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf-Man, etc, all dominating the box office. In time, numerous sequels and "versus" pictures became the way for Hollywood to milk these franchises for every last drop. Eventually these series became a joke, with the classic monsters showing up in comedies with Abbot & Costello. The cry at the time? "Horror is dying"!

In the 1950s and 60s, irradiated monsters, space-men and vengeful creatures from times past arose on the silver screen, and horror started to thrive once more. Hitchcock created the prototype for the slasher with Psycho, and audiences started to flock to theaters. Of course, as time went on the irradiated monsters became more and more ludicrous, the space-men silly, and the creatures more obviously men in rubber suits. These films became punch-lines and gags, with gimmicks like 3-D and "Smell-O-Vision" becoming more important than the actual plot of the films themselves. Of course, most people thought "horror is dying"!

In the 1970s and 80s, we had the drive-in circuit, which were mainly films with low budgets and minimal studio backing (these films were also the backbone of the "grindhouses" of this era). These played in their theaters, sometimes for months on end, garnering cult audiences from word-of-mouth. Most were never huge sellers, but they were able to make a profit over time. (it should be noted that the midnight movie circuit was also a huge factor, giving new life to films like Eraserhead, Phantom of the Paradise and The Rocky Horror Picture Show that had previously flopped at the box office). Horror movies like The Exorcist and Halloween were able to dominate at the box-office, but the majority of the greats from the 70s were those films that found their audience at the drive-in.

As the home video and cable markets expanded, the drive-ins and grindhouses dried up. Eventually, you had a new market with "direct to video" films. While the majority of these were piss-poor, you'd still get the occasional gem that just didn't get its day in the theater. Hollywood has always chased big hits, and often won't take a chance on a film that isn't a "sure thing". With the drive-ins & grindhouses, the studios had an outlet for those films they were unsure of, putting them out in the hopes that they would find some sort of audience. Home video rentals made this redundant, so soon the shakier stuff was sent directly to video. Unfortunately, the increased visibility of videos soon led to these films getting a reputation for being cheap, crappy flicks that weren't good enough to make it in a theater. While this was often true, it really wasn't any different from the grindhouse days. Plenty of those films were crap, but the bad stuff was often overshadowed by cool, edgy flicks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Evil Dead. So, now you have lots of bad movies clogging the video aisles, particularly in the horror section. What is the reaction? "Horror is dying"! Of course, this is the era that gave us Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm St, Hellraiser, Poltergeist, etc. While all those films had silly sequels, there is no denying that the originals were classics who made their mark on popular culture.

Of course, you get to the 1990s and 2000s, and you have a rash of remakes, self-aware parodies (the Scream series) and Japanese adaptations. Many of these are quite good, but the majority are awful. Studios now want to maximize their profits, so the marketing geniuses give us PG-13 fair, while later offering up "unrated director's cut" DVDs later on to purists. Is this causing the "death" of horror? I'd say it's just another typical bump in the road for the genre. The "torture porn" sub-genre is already beginning to wane, and there are still films that are hitting the scene that generate a buzz, like The Strangers, Drag Me To Hell, Let the Right One In and the upcoming Trick 'r Treat (which is getting the straight to DVD treatment, even though it has been hailed as a modern horror classic by most critics).

So no, horror isn't dead. It isn't even really dying. It is lying there, waiting for you to get too close so it can reach up and grab you when you least expect it. You may THINK it's dead, but that is never a good thing to assume when it comes to horror movies!

I LIVE!

2009-06-01T10:19:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so.....I haven't been on here in ages, mainly because I've been crazy busy at work and at home. My kids have activities almost every night of the week, and I've been covering for all sorts of people at work. Add in an impending back surgery, and there really has been zero time whatsoever. Sometimes being a grown-up totally blows My apologies to all of my friends here who probably think I'm ignoring them....or dead! I'm quite alive....and I'm lurking in the shadows of your room! Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*ahem* So, for all the activity in my life, I really don't have a whole lot to say. This is the worst blog entry ever! I guess I'll highlight some recent movie/TV viewing, as well as my current reading:

Movies: The new Star Trek film totally kicked my ass! I love sci-fi stuff, and I've never been one of those Star Wars vs. Star Trek kinda guys. To me, both have merit. That having been said, the Trek franchise had gotten pretty stale, and the most recent TV series sucked donkey balls. I thought this new film had a great solution to the bogged down history of Trek. It did a great job of tying into the old continuity, while at the same time providing a fresh start to the series. Really, this is the best of this year's Summer blockbusters...so far!

I also checked out Sam Raimi's return to horror, Drag Me To Hell. Gotta say, this movie was a true return to form! It had the humour, gore and scares of the Evil Dead films, while at the same time seeming like a fresh new film. Damned good horror flick!

TV: I've gotten hooked on Harper's Island. Basically, it's a murder mystery crossed with a soap opera by way of a slasher film! The show is fun for anyone who is into the slasher sub-genre!

My niece has also got me hooked on 30 Rock, which is damned hilarious. She also has managed to get me addicted to Supernatural (she's like a TV pusher!), which is a way better show than I thought it would be. When it first debuted, I pretty much ignored it as yet another WB/CW teeny-bopper show, but it is really quite clever. I'm about to wrap up watching the 3rd season on DVD, so I can get caught up as soon as season 4 hits stores. My hope is that I can be completely up to speed by the time the new season airs.

Books: I'm currently reading The Heroin Diaries, by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue fame. I'd previously read The Dirt, which was a memoir by all of the members, and found it to be simealtaneously the funniest and saddest book I'd ever read. Well, this book is similar...only missing the humorous parts. It features Nikki's actual diary entries over the course of a year, with commentary from him as well as others who knew him during this time period. Pardon my french, but the only way to really describe the material is "fucked up". It's probably the most insightful glimpse into the mind of a junkie ever, and it is quite disturbing. Not for the faint of heart!

Okay, that's about it for now. I know this is a pretty lame entry, but hopefully I'll get back to blogging on a more regular kind of basis here soon!

The Bratz of Crystal Lake

2009-02-13T07:13:00.015-06:00

A short while back, I published a blog called "The Bratz of Haddonfield", which featured my daughter's dolls being terrorized by my Michael Myers figure. In honor of Friday the 13th, and the new film's release, I'm back at it again with that other silent stalker of the silver screen:

More Jason Stuff

2009-02-12T10:22:00.004-06:00

Continuing my weeklong tribute to the Friday the 13th series (both in honor of the new flick, as well as the fact that this Friday falls on the 13th), I thought today I'd look at a few of YouTube's Jason-themed offerings.

First up is a fan film by Sean Mcleod, starring artist Andrew Barr as Jason. The moral of this one: never play football near Crystal Lake (in fact, just stay away from that place. It just never goes well for folks who hang out there).

Next up is an entry from those Robot Chicken guys! This one has a great concept (although I'm not so sure that Velma is into guys):

Last, but not least, is one that just speaks for itself:

Jason Voorhees: A Candid Interview

2009-02-11T07:20:00.002-06:00

Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing movie maniac Jason Voorhees of the hugely successful Friday The 13th movie series. We all know Jason from his huge body count, but I was curious: who is the man behind the mask?

DG: It's a real pleasure to meet you! You're quite a legend!

JV: Why thank you! It's nice to be recognized for my work.

DG: In your films, you never speak. Why is that?

JV: Well, when I'm out hacking up teens, I feel that being the strong, silent type is the best way to go. I know a few of my fellow killers follow this philosophy. Michael Myers really started the whole thing, and I come from his school of thought on the matter. Other maniacs, like Freddy for instance, like to taunt their victims, but that just isn't me. It's an artistic choice.

DG: Speaking of Freddy, you fought him in Freddy vs. Jason. Are you really rivals off set, or do you get along?

JV: We had a decent working relationship, but I wouldn't categorize us as friends. He really kept to himself when we weren't filming.

DG: Are there any other film murderers you do spend time with?

JV: Oh yeah! Michael Myers and I go way back! He was really like a mentor to me when I first got into this business. He took me under his wing, showed me the ropes. I'm sure you can see some of his influence in my work. He's a much more simplistic murderer than I am, but that just works for him, ya know? He's a minimalist, whereas I try to get real creative with my kills. Still, he's done some brilliant stuff! I mean, check out that nurse he kills in the hot-tub in Halloween II! That was just amazing!

DG: Anyone else?

JV: Leatherface and I hang out from time-to-time. I go by his place anytime I'm in Texas. He makes the best sausage around! Candyman is also a close friend, as is Pumpkinhead.

DG: You've now starred in 11 films. Is there any that stand out for you?

JV: I started out so young. I mean, I was just a kid when we did the first one, and my mom really was the star of that picture. I was barely in the movie, and I spent most of my time in the lake. Still, I learned a lot by watching the people on that set, especially mom. She really is my inspiration!

I'm also really proud of my work on part 6. That was a big comeback for me, and I was nervous that the public wouldn't accept me coming out of retirement, but they really seemed to like it.

DG: Speaking of the retirement, you've now "retired" twice. What is the story with that, and why do you keep coming back?

JV: I guess I just love the business! I mean, killing horny, drug and alcohol crazed teens is what I was born to do! When I first retired, after part four (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), I was just tired. The studio brought in that Corey Feldman kid as a possible replacement, but that wasn't what they ultimately did with the series. The next movie (Friday the 13th part 5: A New Beginning), they couldn't get Feldman back, since he was now hanging out with Michael Jackson, so they got some other guy to play his character (Tommy Jarvis). I really felt this was a bad move, and to top it off, they had a whole red-herring thing going by revealing the killer to be an ambulance driver or something. They still set up Tommy to be my replacement at the end of the movie, but by then the damage was done.

DG: You actually did a cameo in that film. Why, when you had retired?

JV: I really did it as a favor to the producers. I just appeared as a vision for Tommy. It was an afternoon's work, so it wasn't a big deal.

DG: So, why did you come out of retirement for the next picture (Friday the 13th part 6: Jason Lives)?

JV: Well, first off, I had taken a nice, long break. I had vacationed in Hawaii, and really taken some time to get in touch with my feelings. I did a lot of soul-searching, and discovered that I really missed eviscerating promiscuous campers. I also felt like I needed to come in and help clean up this franchise that I had helped build. I knew that I couldn't let the studio make another travesty like part 5. When Paramount called and asked me to come back for a new film, I jumped at the chance.

DG: So why did you retire again in the early 90's with Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday?

JV: I'll be honest with you, that was all just a big publicity stunt on the part of New Line. We'd moved over to that studio from Paramount, and they were eager for me to do a flick with Freddy. They had both of us announce our "retirements" so they could then make a big deal of it when we "returned" in a "vs." picture. Of course, that movie got stuck in development hell, and we wound up doing other stuff in the meantime.

DG: So, how did you come up with the infamous goalie mask that has become your trademark?

JV: You may remember in the first film I didn't have any mask at all. I was just this lumpy headed kid. That just isn't scary. I felt Michael Myers had really gotten it right with his mask in the Halloween series, so I wanted something like that. In the second film I had a sort of bag on my head, but that just wasn't working for me. I'd always been big into hockey, so when we did the third film I brought along a goalie mask on the first day of the shoot. I had been playing with some of my friends at a local ice rink, and I had it in my bag. The director saw it, suggested that I put it on, and the rest is history!

DG: What was the reasoning for the direction you went in Jason X? Why sci-fi?

JV: To tell the truth, I was really wanting to branch out and do new things. I had auditioned for a few romantic comedies, and I was even briefly cast in Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock, but that didn't work out.

DG: Really? I wasn't aware of that! What happened?

JV: Well, I kept killing the extras they had for the beauty pagent scenes, and the director and producers really didn't take too kindly to that. I mean, that is what I do, but they just didn't feel like it fit their vision of what they thought the film should be. Personally, after having seen the final film, I think it would have been a way better movie if they'd allowed me to take out a few of the contestants. It would have given it an edge. Still, I got to meet Bill Shatner, so it wasn't a total waste!

DG: Any other films you were a part of, but were cut from?

JV: The only other one was Moulin Rouge. I had really wanted to make a musical, and I felt like this was my chance. Baz Lurhmann fired me when I tried to kill Nicole Kidman during one of her numbers. Hey, if you had to listen to that screeching she calls "singing", you'd have tried to kill her too! I still feel that I would have done everyone a service if they'd allowed me to put her out of her misery. She sounds like a dying cat! He replaced me with Ewan McGreggor, which I find to be an interesting choice.

DG: Okay, so back to Jason X. You decided to make a sci-fi film?

JV: Yeah. I'd always been a big fan of Ridley Scott's Alien, and so I really pushed to get this picture made. I know some of the fans didn't care for me doing a space picture, as they felt I was pulling a "Moonraker", but I'm really proud of that film. I felt it contained some of my best work, and the cyborg costume was fantastic! Still, I had to listen to my fans, so that led us to finally doing the Freddy flick.

DG: At one point, it was rumoured you were doing a new Friday the 13th with Quentin Tarantino. What is the story on that.

JV: I had suggested Tarantino after I saw Kill Bill. I mean, if he can make a skinny chick like Uma Thurman into a bad-ass killer, just imagine what he could do for me! We met and discussed it, but Quentin was busy with other projects. I'm hoping we'll one day get to work together.

DG: You just completed the 12th entry in this series, a "reboot" if you will. What is up next for you? Sequel?

JV: That has been discussed, but I'm just not sure what will happen at this point. Right now, I'm busy with a pet project of mine that I'm hoping will hit the stage in the next year or so.

DG: Stage? What is this project you speak of?

JV: Like I said, I've always wanted to do a musical, so I've been working with Tim Rice to do Friday the 13th: The Musical. I think it's a great direction for me, and we're hoping to have some of the success that other films have had when they were adapted into stage musicals. I mean, if The Producers can be a broadway hit, why can't Friday the 13th?

DG: Is there anything about you that you feel your fans should know?

JV: Hey, I just want all of them to know how much I appreciate their support throughout everything I've been through. The Academy may never recognise me for my work, and I may never have Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt numbers, but I do have a loyal fan base. That means the world to me!

Crystal Lake Revisited, Part 2

2009-02-10T07:17:00.002-06:00

This is the second part of my look back on the Friday the 13th film series. My previous blog focused on the first five movies in this franchise, so both of you who actually read the crap I write should go take a gander at that one first. As I stated previously, I've already seen all of these movies before, but I wanted to watch them again with a more mature, worldly perspective going for me (stop laughing, damn it!!!). In the case of Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part 6, having an older, wiser point of view really adds to the viewing experience, as you can totally see what the director was going for. I have to say, I LOVE this film! I want to marry it and make babies with it! It is, quite simply, frigging brilliant in its silliness. It is obvious that writer/director Tom McLoughlin is having a ball throughout, and that he doesn't take the subject matter too seriously. At the same time, he doesn't mock the character at all. In fact, he seems to really work towards making Jason into a truly scary monster.

While the previous entry had set up Tommy Jarvis to be the successor to Jason, the low box-office take of that flick convinced the studio that they needed to bring big J back. Of course, the main problem is that Tommy had hacked him into itty, bitty pieces in the fourth flick. Hey, this is horror! This isn't a problem! McLoughlin takes care of this point by having one of the most over-the-top opening sequences in this entire series. Tommy, now played by Thom Mathews, is apparently over his psycho moments from the previous movie, and just wants to make sure Jason is truly dead (I guess those hallucinations he kept having made him doubt that he had truly been successful when he chopped him up like a piece of chicken at Benihana). Tommy and a buddy from the mental hospital (played by Ron Palillo of "Welcome Back Kotter" fame) go out to Jason's grave to dig him up. No.... really. Tommy wants to burn his body, but wouldn'tcha know...he has a flashback and goes all ape$hit on Jason's wormy remains with a metal pole. Naturally, a thunderstorm is occurring at this moment, and lighting strikes the pole. Guess what happens???!!! If this sounds goofy as all get out, well…it is! But, just to show you where the film's intentions lie, the camera quickly shows a close-up of re-animated Jason's eye…and then does an homage to the James Bond flicks' opening "gun view" by substituting big J in place of the spy (throwing a knife, rather than shooting, of course). It is this kind of attitude that prevails throughout the rest of the film. Now, that isn't to say that this one just plays it silly. Rather, it revels in the over-the-top nature of the slasher-flick, and thus mixes in the humor with liberal amounts of carnage and scares. The film never devolves into outright parody, but it is obvious that it isn't intended to be viewed as serious either. The acting is also much better than most of these, and the dialogue quite witty. While not quite as perfect of a blend of horror and comedy as Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn, this flick is still pretty great at combining the two. Overall, it makes this movie just plain fun, and easily my favorite of this entire, bloated franchise. Hey, what other movie are you gonna see Arnold Horshack getting punched through the torso???

Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood has the misfortune of following such a strong entry, and that is a shame. The flaws in this one stand out all the more than they would on others, but there are still some great things about it. First off, this was the first of the series to feature fan-favorite Kane Hodder as Jason. Hodder brings a powerful, sinister presence to Jason in his movements and mannerisms, and it really makes him seem quite fearsome. The plot of this one focuses on Tina, who has the gift of telekinesis (yeah, its pretty much Jason vs. Carrie as far as the story goes). Tina is haunted by her accidentally killing her father years before on a Crystal Lake pier, and so she returns with her mother and an unscrupulous shrink to face her demons. Of course, the shrink just wants to exploit her gift, and his machinations lead to Tina accidentally reviving Jason. Director John Buechler goes out of his way to incorporate the past film's continuities into this one by having Jason's previous injuries be visible (Buechler does the make-up as well, as that was his chosen profession. He was convinced by the producers that he should direct this flick, despite his lack of experience in this realm). Hodder's Jason looks like the slimy, chewed-on-by-fish-for-years zombie that he is supposed to be, and I have to say that I quite like his look in this one. The make-up & effects for Jason are the absolute best in this film, which is no small feat when you consider that the great Tom Savini was involved in the early films. The acting is lacking, and in many ways this one is by-the-numbers in as far as the kills go (though this is probably more due to MPAA meddling than anything else), but the presence of Tina and her TK power makes for some fun moments, giving Jason an adversary that can actually be a threat to him. Hodder himself just does a great job, and it is easy to see why he gained such a following amongst the fans of the series.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan, is a mess of a film, even when it comes to low-budget slasher films of the 1980s. This one finds Jason being drug along unknowingly by a party boat, full of high school grads, departing from Crystal Lake for the Big Apple. Over half of this film is spent on the boat, most likely for budgetary reasons, blowing the chance to really see Jason in the New York setting for any length of time. When the survivors do arrive in Manhattan, they spend most of the remaining time running down dark alleys that are obviously on a sound-stage. The over-all effect is like watching Jason running amok on a sitcom set, with the occasional NY location shot being thrown in for good measure. The protagonist in this one, Rennie, is another girl with powers of the mind, only she experiences some sort of psychic visions. Throughout the film, we see her having hallucinations of Jason as a kid, usually in some sort of drowning scenario. This is obviously an attempt to tie this entry to the original film, but it is done so cheaply that it never really makes sense as to what these visions are supposed to signify. Adding to the confusion is the fact that sometimes Juvenile Jason sports his "deformed" make-up from the original film, while in other shots he appears as a normal-looking kid. The climax of the film has Jason pursuing our heroes through the New York sewer system, where he is dispatched by a flood of toxic waste (the city, we are told, releases their toxic waste into the sewer on a nightly basis)! The sheer silliness of this notion caused me to laugh out loud. Does the EPA know that New York City does this??? Maybe this is what causes giant gators and ninja turtles? As Jason does his best impression of the "I'm melting" bit from The Wizard of Oz, Rennie sees another vision of him as a young, normal boy. What the hell that was supposed to mean, I haven't a clue.

Now, this film isn't without merit. The unintentionally funny bits are plentiful, such as when Jason PUNCHES A GUY'S HEAD OFF!!!( No, really!!!). This flick is filled with silly moments that, in the hands of a better director, could have really been played up. Instead, they are only comical for the "oh, you gotta be kidding me" effect that they have on the viewer. Hodder is back in the hockey mask, and he puts in another great performance. He does an excellent job of conveying a sense of rage and determination, which is no small feat when your face isn't shown, and you have no dialogue. Unfortunately, he can't save this mess. Director/Writer Rob Hedden just seems clueless as to how to go about making a horror flick of any kind, although it is highly likely that he had to cave in to budgetary restraints and MPAA tinkering. Adding to the craptacular nature of this is that Harry Manfredini, the composer for the previous seven installments, is replaced by some hack named Fred Mollin. Mollin creates an incredibly dated, suspense-free score that will have you giggling at times throughout the flick.

Fun fact: Paramount originally intended to follow up part 8 with Jason Takes L.A., in which our undead, goalie-masked madman would have run afoul of the Crips and the Bloods! Instead, when the rights reverted back to producer Sean S. Cunningham, he chose to shop them around to other studios. Ultimately, New Line Cinema shelled out the dough for Jason, and that is how Mr. Voorhees wound up at The House That Freddy Built. That leads us to our next entry:

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday, is the second in the series to claim to be the last. Once again, this wouldn't be a "final" entry at all. In fact, it seems obvious watching this years later that the only reason Jason is sent to Hell in this one is to set up a Freddy vs. Jason film (the plan to combine these two series was already in the works at this point, but the film meeting between the two horror giants didn't hit screens for another decade, getting trapped in "development hell"). The plot of this, the ninth film, is an attempt to expand Jason beyond the simple slasher genre. Does it work? Not at all. There are tons of great ideas, but they ultimately don't pan out. The film opens in traditional Friday the 13th fashion, with a scantily clad girl being stalked by Jason (how he came back from being a ball of goo at the end of the previous film is never really explained, although they may have just decided to ignore that installment altogether). It quickly changes gears when an FBI assault teams shows up to blow Jason into little bits. Soon, what is left of Jason is carted off to a secret morgue, where the remains are to be studied by government-type scientists. Jason's black heart soon starts to beat, hypnotizing the forensic expert who then EATS THE HEART! Seems that Jason has the (heretofore unseen) ability to swap bodies by becoming this snakey, parasite-thingy that possesses folks a la The Hidden. He then heads off to find his long-lost sister, who he needs in order to be truly reborn (without Voorhees DNA, the bodies he takes over decay rapidly). Turns out that sis (played by Erin Gray) lives near Crystal Lake! Hot on Jason's heels is Creighton Duke (Steven Williams), a bounty hunter who seems to know everything about Jason and how his abilities work. How he came by this knowledge is never explained, and therein lies the biggest problem with this entry: plot holes, vaguely defined retcons, and contradictions to previously established continuity abound in JGTH. Now, whenever you have a series with this many sequels, you'll have a few inconsistencies that crop up from time-to-time, and the rest of the Ft13 flicks have plenty. Horror fans are extremely forgiving of such nit-picky things, and generally ignore or explain them in their own minds. In this case, you can see why so many fans just weren't willing to give this flick a pass. It almost seems like the film-makers were assuming that the audience had either never seen one of these movies before, or were just too stupid to notice the holes in the plot that were big enough to drive a Mack truck through! Since three different writers appear in the credits, it may be that numerous re-writes were applied to the script, ultimately leaving out rather important information. Or, it could just be that these guys didn't have a clue as to what a Ft13 flick was really about. When it is all said and done, the movie is a bloated beast that collapses under its own weight. It is filled with all sorts of ideas that are never fully explored, and it cannot seem to make up its mind if it wants to be a "serious" horror film, or a self-aware parody. Director Adam Marcus also throws everything he can into the soup, visually referencing everything from Twin Peaks to The Hidden (I was almost surprised that Kyle MacLachlan didn't show up in a cameo). He gets some kudos for including the props of The Necronomicon (from The Evil Dead) and the Artic Expedition crate (from Creepshow), but these also act as reminders of far better horror flicks. The Necronomicon's presence in the film is actually prominent enough that it led many fans to speculate that it was intended to be a much bigger plot point, possibly a hint that Jason's mother used the book to re-animate her son in the original. If THAT idea had actually been explored here, then this movie would have been much more interesting. As it stands, it just winds up seeming like another loose end that is never tied up. Hodder is back as Jason, but he too is wasted in his role, since he only appears at the beginning and end of the film, as well as in a few reflections of his possessed hosts. All in all, a film that is just severely lacking. It seems obvious that, with a little more work, this COULD have been a decent horror movie, but the end result is just lackluster.

After JGTH, New Line would put Freddy vs. Jason into pre-production, with numerous scripts being churned out over the years. In the meantime, they would pursue a tenth entry in the Friday the 13th series. I'll get to that one in a bit, because, film continuity-wise, it occurs last amongst all of them. FvJ finally made its cinematic debut in 2003, some ten years after first getting the green-light from the studio suits. Now, "versus" films are often problematic, since combining two different characters and continuities into one film is no easy task. A film pitting Freddy against Jason may be a great idea on paper, but just how do you put these two radically different characters in a movie together? Jason is a mindless brute, who kills for the sake of killing, while Freddy is a smart-assed psychopath who murders folks in their dreams. Well, New Line had numerous writers that attempted to craft just such a script, with all of them said to have sucked like a Hoover. Finally, screenwriters Damian Shannon & Mark Swift managed to crack it, and the resulting film is a blast! Freddy vs. Jason is not only respectful of the two franchise's histories, it actually utilizes bits and pieces from both series to move the story along. Seems that Freddy is stuck in Hell, and the only way he can regain his power is to get the kids on Elm Street to remember him. He finds Jason, and decides to manipulate him into returning to the land of the living to stir up terror back in his old digs of Springwood. Naturally, Jason continues to kill after he's outlived his usefulness to Freddy, taking away potential victims for the gloved one. This leads to the conflict between the two. It's a simple plot, but it works. Especially cool to a Friday the 13th fan is the fact that it references the events from the first film, with Jason's mother and his drowning death being story elements that are important factors. Most important, this movie is pure fun. It balances humorous moments with over-the-top deaths. It isn't really scary, but it maintains the tone of both series. Jason turns out to be a great foil for Freddy, as his silent, killing-machine approach is nicely contrasted against Freddy's overly verbose theatrics. Sure, it's pretty durned silly, but it is apparent that everyone involved genuinely loves both series, and thus everyone is clearly having fun. Oddly, Kane Hodder does not play Jason here, even though he was well loved by fans of the series, and had portrayed him in four previous movies. Apparently, he was too close in size to Robert Englund, and director Ronny Yu felt that Jason should be an imposing presence next to Krueger. Hodder was replaced by Ken Kirzinger, who has the unenviable task of following on the heels of one who was widely felt to have been the defining actor to play the role. He does a decent job, all things considered. He makes up for his lack of sheer ferocity by being an incredibly hulking prescence. Kirzinger is a mountain of a guy, and uses that to his advantage. This film is a must-see for the "rave" scene alone, in which Jason is set on fire as he pursues intoxicated teenagers through a corn field!

Now, with the success of FvJ, it stand to reason that New Line would immediately rush a sequel into production, and they did exactly that. A script treatment was approved, and pre-production began on Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash, which would pit the two movie madmen against the hero from The Evil Dead trilogy. The ED movies had long had a huge cult following, and this movie came extremely close to getting made. Actor Bruce Campbell, who portrayed Ash in all three films, had even said he would do the flick if it got off the ground. Unfortunately, legal red-tape prevented this from happening, but DC/Wildstorm and Dynamite Comics managed to secure permission to adapt Jeff Katz's script treatment into comic. The result is actually one of the best installments of any of the film series! Using the throw-away "easter-egg" visual of The Necronomicon in JGTH, the story centers on Freddy manipulating Jason to get his hands on the infernal book, so that he can become a living god. When it comes to the whole Book of the Dead thing, Ash is never too far away. He arrives in Crystal Lake to match his chainsaw and boomstick against Jason, and his one-liners against Freddy. I urge anyone who is a fan of ANY of these characters to pick this one up, as it truly is the sequel that SHOULD have been! It is fun, violent, creepy and downright groovy! I know it isn't technically a movie, but I felt I'd be remiss if I left that one out!

The final entry is Jason X. Say it with me now: "JASON IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!" Yes, this one features our undead slasher in space, which was a popular trend with horror at the time, oddly enough. The Leprechaun and Hellraiser films had also done space-related sequels, and Halloween was also considered at one point. While these entries were generally unpopular with fans, for whatever reason the studios continued to pursue the formula. Maybe it has to do with the success of the Muppet films with these various formulas? I mean, we had The Muppets Take Manhattan and Muppets in Space, both templates later applied to Jason. If we see Jason's Treasure Island, The Great Jason Caper and Jason: The Swamp Years, then we'll know I'm onto something here. I picture some studio exec sitting in his office thinking "if it works for Jim Henson's puppets, then why can't it be applied to our slasher movies?". The sad part is, this is probably true.

Originally intended to be released in 2000, with the oh-so original title of Jason 2000 (can't you just see the ad campaign? J2K!), it wouldn't see movie theaters in America until 2002, opening the door for it to become widely bootlegged. While this film is disliked by many fans, I have to admit that I enjoyed it for its sheer silliness. Director James Isaac not only doesn't take it seriously, he seems to view the whole thing as incredibly ridiculous. He plays up every convention there is in the slasher sub-genre, and everyone seems to be winking at you throughout. The US government has captured Jason, and is studying him for his ability to regenerate. He breaks loose, kills lots of people, and winds up frozen. He is found in the year 2455, by a team of students studying the dead world of Earth. Jason thaws out, kills horny space teens, and fights an android. Oh, and said android accidentally causes him to be turned into some sort of cyborg. Yeah, it's pretty much how it sounds. This isn't a case of the director mixing humor and horror like part 6 or even FvJ. This one is just an out-and-out goofball movie that always has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. Everything is taken to ridiculous extremes, and I have to say that it works. Hodder is Jason once again, and he milks every scene he is in, with him offing one of the young, beautiful victims by dousing her head in liquid nitrogen, then shattering it. You pretty much cannot take a movie that has this approach too seriously, and I would hope that no one who watches this one would. I mean, it's JASON IN SPACE, for Pete's sake! If you view the thing as a comedic send-up of the series, then you'll have fun. If you're wanting an actual horror movie...well, this might not be the one for you.

Well, that about does it. If you've never watched these, and you are willing to take the good with the bad, then I highly recommend snagging these movies from Netflix, your local video store, or borrowing them from someone cool enough to own them all. The vast majority aren't "good" films, but there is entertainment to be had in all of them, if you are open to it. If you aren't a fan of horror, b-movies or cheap slasher flicks, then you might wanna pass. If any of these sound like your thang, then grab 'em. If you are one of those folks who maybe saw one or two of these things when you were younger, then they are definitely worth a revisit from you as an adult.

Crystal Lake Revisited, Part 1

2009-02-09T10:49:00.003-06:00

Friday the 13th is coming up at the end of this week...a day generally feared by folks across the world, which I've never really understood. Just how bad can a Friday be? In rebellion against this most ridiculous of superstitions, I've always kind of revelled in the whole Friday the 13th thing. Of course, a great way to celebrate this is the whole slasher film series, starring goalie-masked Jason Voorhees (who actually took over the family business of hacking teens up from his mama, who was the killer in the original film). Recently, I decided to take another look at this group of flicks. Since this Friday also marks the return of the franchise to the big screen, in the form of a "reboot", I thought it was a good time to look back at the series. (This is the first of a two-part blog)

The first film is, essentially, a rip-off of John Carpenter's Halloween. After the success Carpenter had, a host of imitators sprung up in its wake. Of these, the original Friday the 13th was easily the best, since it didn't just move the date, but also changed the locale to a secluded summer camp out in the woods. While there are shots in this film that Carpenter should get royalties off of, the whole film itself is able to stand on its own. It plays coy with the audience, by not revealing who the killer is until the end. While this character is never seen in the film until the last few minutes (thus not really making it a mystery), it is still a nice twist, in that this rather normal-looking mom is the perpetrator of all these gruesome deaths. Betsy Palmer's portrayal of Pamela Voorhees invokes Psycho, with her channeling the voice of her dead son, Jason, whom she was out to avenge. While Halloween gave birth to the slasher sub-genre, this film is really responsible for quite a few of the conventions that are today associated with them. Look for a young Kevin Bacon as a counselor/victim.

Of course, every successful horror film in the 1980s had sequels, and this flick had more than just about any of them. Part 2 featured Jason, seemingly back from the grave (he either rose from the grave to avenge his mother, or never drowned at all. This point is debated amongst fans of these flicks to this very day), and picking up where his mama left off. He even starts off by killing the lone survivor from the previous installment! Poor thing went through all that, only to get an icepick in the head! (I'm still trying to figure out how Jason was able to find where she lived. Did he look her up in the phonebook? Did he fly there? Does Jason have frequent flier miles?) What is notable about this movie is that Jason is depicted as some sort of retarded super-hillbilly. He is a deformed, coverall-wearing redneck who sports a bag over his head. He kills people left and right, and there is little to no character development beyond one or two of the principals (the protagonist in this film really stands out though, as she is depicted as tough as nails, and downright resourceful when dealing with Jason). Most of the teens are one-dimensional, cookie-cutter hornballs who exist for the sole purpose of being hacked to death by Jason. Oh sure, we have one guy who is in a wheelchair, but the vulnerable handicap guy thing had already been done in the far-superior Texas Chainsaw Massacre several years before. In this case, the twist is that he is a horny camp counselor who is looking to score. Yup, this means he's marked for death. Overall, this entry is an almost by-the-book slasher film, with nothing original going for it. Well, other than the bag-headed in-bred hillbilly murderer thing. You gotta love that!

Part 3 was directed by the same guy who did Part 2, Steve Miner. You'd think that this would ensure some consistency between films, but it really doesn't. Jason is a raving, drooling maniac in this film, instead of a silent, back-woods fucktard. This installment was originally done in 3-D (because, you know, it's the 3rd movie! Get it?), so it is filled with goofy shots of things like TV rabbit-ears and baseball bats aimed at the camera. Sure, it has a few good POV shots of knives and red-hot pokers coming at you, but the vast majority of the made-for-3-D angles are mundane, everyday objects intended to make the audience go "oooooooo! Looky! It's coming right at me". Of course, watching this on DVD, without the 3-D format, it is unintentionally hilarious. In fact, this whole flick is one accidentally comical moment after another. The horrible dialogue, delivered by actors who couldn't get work in porn because they just didn't have the thespian skills required, makes for some wonderfully funny moments, even if that wasn't at all what the filmmakers intended. The whole thing is worth a viewing to check out Jason CRUSHING A GUY'S HEAD and seeing the victim's EYEBALL POP OUT OF HIS SKULL AND FLY AT THE CAMERA!!!

Of course, this is the entry in the series that introduced the world to the goalie-masked visage of Jason. Yes, this goofball movie is responsible for the look of one of horror's most iconic images! If you're like me, and you can enjoy a bad horror movie for its comical merits as much as you can enjoy a good one for its genuine scares, then this flick is definitely worth viewing.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, the fourth in the series, is a surprisingly good flick with some really creepy moments. Both Crispen Glover and Corey Feldman are seen in pre-celeb roles, and the acting is really refreshingly good in this one. Jason is silent once again, but he is seen as a fast moving, violent murderer that is filled with rage. This elevates him above the status of retarded hillbilly, grunting freak or Michael Myer's clone, and actually makes him into a true movie monster. Oh sure, it is still a slasher flick, so it has all those conventions, but it makes the most of them. One thing that makes this one a little more interesting is that we get to know several of Jason's victims before he does them in, so there is a genuine sense of peril when he is coming after the protagonists. We actually find ourselves caring about some of these people, instead of rooting for Jason to hurry up and off the idiots. Plus, it has Glover doing one of the funniest dance routines ever commited to celluloid.

Of course, despite the title's claim to the contrary, this wouldn't be the last installment at all. The director sets up a possible new series, by having Tommy Jarvis (Feldman) slay Jason. The film ends with the hint that little Tommy may have been so traumatised by his experience that he may take up Jason's favorite pasttime himself.

(no, that isn't Britney Spears in the above pic)

As good as Part 4 was, Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning is proportionately bad. This time out, Jarvis is all grown up (well, he's apparently a teenager, but he looks to be in his mid-twenties). Of course, we are led to believe that Tommy is killing all the kids at a half-way house for troubled teens, but it turns out this is a red-herring. In reality, it is a copycat killer, using Jason's MO as an excuse to exact revenge for the death of his son. John Shepherd does a good job of playing the older, more disturbed Tommy, but the rest of the cast is pretty lacking. The story itself is by the numbers, almost as if there were a do-it-yourself slasher flick kit you could buy at your local K-Mart at this point. The characters are all bad 80's stereotypes, and most of the time you don't give a crap if they are hacked to pieces. In fact, two of the more annoying characters look like they belong in some bad 80's sitcom moreso than they do in a horror film, and when they are finally killed, it is a blessed relief. On the plus side, it has one of the hotter examples of the requisite hot-chick-with-a-great-rack-who-gets-naked-before-she-gets-killed:

Tomorrow, I'll be back with a look at the remaining films in this series.

Rest in Peace, Bettie Page

2008-12-12T08:10:00.001-06:00

2008 has certainly been a year for us to lose some of the greats, be it the genius of Arthur C.Clark, the talent of Heath Ledger, or the mysterious beauty of Vampira.

Sadly, we've lost another major icon: the beautiful Bettie Page. Even if you don't know the name, I can assure you that you know her face. She was queen of the pin-up models in the 1950's, until she left that business forever to pursue a quiet life. She lived in anonymity for the next several decades, not realizing the impact she had on the pop-culture and counter-culture alike. Artist Olivia frequently painted her, while her image also appeared on numerous rock albums and other media. She inspired the love interest in the Rocketeer comics, as well as Goth girls the world over.

In the early 90's, she was found by some intrepid journalists who tracked her down over the course of many years. She was living in poverty, completely oblivious to the fact that she was owed millions in royalties for the unliscensed use of her image. Fortunately, most of the artists and musicians who had used pics of her were more than happy to pony up the dough they owed her. She was that loved by her fans. She never allowed pictures of her to be taken in her old age, preferring for people to remember her when she was in her prime.

This past weekend, she slipped into a coma, from which she never awakened This morning, she passed away. Her image will forever stand as the ultimate pin-up. Her look will be forever imitated by models and rock stars alike. We'll miss you, Bettie, but you'll always be with us.

Thankgiving

2008-11-25T09:57:00.005-06:00

This little entry is Eli Roth's contribution to the Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse film project. A fake trailer to a slasher film based on the upcoming holiday. Heck, I'd go see this if it were a real film! I hope everyone has a much better holiday than these folks:

Hallowe'en 2008!

2008-11-04T09:16:00.019-06:00

Here are a few pics from our Halloween night this year. We wound up with a whole lot fewer photos than previous years, probably due to the sheer chaos of having that many children in our home at one time! My wife, for the second year in a row, managed to completely avoid being photographed. Perhaps she no longer appears on film? She seems to reflect just fine in the mirror in the mornings, so I dunno. I digress.

Click on the images to see the whole picture. For some reason, I can't seem to get these to go smaller.

The Kids (as Obi-Wan and a Vampiress):

With their cousins (as a "Bling Fairy" and Don Corleone):

With friends:

Your's truly as Mr. Voorhees:

Witchy dog:

Inside the house (for some reason, we didn't get much in the way of exterior shots):

Happy Halloween

2008-10-30T20:30:00.005-05:00

I know I'm posting this several hours before it is actually Halloween, but I know that I will be incredibly busy with all my All Hallow's Eve festivities tomorrow! So....I just wanted to wish all of my friends and fiends a most joyous, happy and ghastly Hallowe'en! May this Samhain be a wonderfully spooky night!

Trick 'r Treat

2008-10-17T10:51:00.005-05:00

In my last blog, I briefly touched upon the ongoing saga of a little film called Trick 'r Treat. I first heard about this movie in early 2007, when the flick's teaser trailer first debuted (many saw it on the 300 DVD). The film is written and directed by Michael Dougherty (his directoral debut), a screenwriter best known for X-2 and Superman Returns. Upon seeing the trailer, I was instantly stoked...a new horror film centering around the folklore surrounding Halloween! Four stories are played out, each one intersecting with the other (think Pulp Fiction, but in horror movie form). At the center of it all is Sam, the Spirit of Halloween who first made his debut in Dougherty's animated short Season's Greetings (see my previous blog). Sam is a mischievous little spirit who ensures that the rules of Halloween are abided by. Break the rules, and you'll attract his attention!

Needless, to say, the very premise of this film was my cuppa hemlock! It had been ages since a real, original horror film had been set in the Halloween season, and this one looked to deliver the goods. September of 2007 rolled around, and word came down that the execs at Warner Bros. had decided to pull the film from their release schedule, as they were afraid it couldn't compete with horror films like Saw IV that were being issued in the same month. This would be the first sign that the WB suits were mentally challenged.

The second indication of just how incredibly brainless the WB Brass was came shortly thereafter, when they indicated that the movie might see a theatrical release sometime in the spring...possibly March or April! WTF??? Of course, this news was met on the net with about as much enthusiasm as a fart is in church. WB pushed the release date back to October, 2008.

In December of 2007, Dougherty brought the film to Butt-Numb-A-Thon, a marathon of films in Austin, Texas that is presented by Aint It Cool News' founder Harry Knowles. My niece and her husband attended this event, and got to see the finished film. Needless to say, they and everyone else in attendance seemed appropriately impressed. Word of mouth was that the film was one of the most refreshing, entertaining, funny, creepy flicks to hit the horror genre in years. The internet became all a'buzz with talk of how this flick would be THE horror movie of 2008! WB's reaction? They dropped the film from their release schedule altogether!!!

While talk of a DVD release was bandied about for a while, WB never committed to it. Many folks in the internet horror film community speculated that Warner's would release the film rights to be distributed by another company, but they never did. Instead, it sat in the can, with no official release of ANY kind on the horizon. Several special screenings of the film were set up, with Dougherty in attendance to do Q&A. Out of all of these, there has yet to be a negative review of any kind, a rarity for pretty much any film, period. Warner's reaction? Nothin'. Nada. Zip.

Dougherty is reluctant to discuss the reasons for the films delay, and this is probably because he hopes that the folks at WB eventually will release it. I'm sure he doesn't aim to piss any of them off. At one of the Q&A's, there was some discussion as to the reasons for Warner's hesitation to put this movie into the market. While Dougherty apparently didn't come right out and say anything concrete, he did somewhat confirm one person's speculation: Warner Bros. is afraid to release this movie for "marketing" reasons. See, this movie is a horror film, but it has lots of dark comedy infused in it. It also features kids being killed. Not teens, but actual children, and the studios are scared of pissing of those groups that try to police morality for all of us. Rumor has it that the WB execs continuously tried to get Dougherty to alter the film to be a more typical slasher flick with horny teens being hacked to death, but he refused.

Of course, there are plenty of horror films that feature children being killed or put into mortal danger. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few such as: The Exorcist, Poltergeist, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers, Aliens, Pet Sematary and The Ring. There certainly is a precedent for it, but I think the real problem these suits have with it is that films with this kind of angle tend to skew towards an older audience. A parent watching these films will feel more of a sense of terror at watching a child being placed in danger than a carefree teen would. Teens like to see people their own age being placed in horrifying situations, because it is scarier to them. In other words, it's all about who you relate to. From a marketing perspective, there is this idea in Hollywood that only teens and 20-somethings go see horror movies (a false assumption), and that they wouldn't want to see a movie that wasn't about other teens (also incorrect). Of course, they may miss the point that at least one of these stories centers around teens, but whatever.

The marketing department seems at a loss on how to market this movie. Do they go for the Saw crowd? Do they bill it as a comedy (even though it isn't really)? Do they just throw up their hands and send the thing direct to DVD? Well, I got news for them: This isn't rocket science! The flick is set AT HALLOWEEN and centers around the folklore and traditions of HALLOWEEN! Geez, when do ya think this movie might attract an audience???? Put it out in early October, when folks are just getting into the spirit, and let the flick ride throughout the season. Worried about a DVD release doing well? Save it for the following October! I realize that these marketing guys have gone to school for this and all, but I just don't see how they have trouble with a film that is getting rave reviews and internet buzz. Of course, these are probably the same folks who decided it would be a great idea to release Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow on Thanksgiving weekend, and then wondered why it didn't perform at the box office like they expected.

The only conclusion that I can come to is simply this: Warner Bros has retarded chimpanzees running their movie division. I say "retarded chimpanzees" since I'm pretty sure even a normal chimp could figure out that you should put this flick into theaters in October.

Here's the trailer that first captured my attention. I'm a fan of this film, and I've never even seen it!

Season's Greetings

2008-10-15T13:27:00.002-05:00

This lil' short is a Halloween fave of mine. It comes from writer/director Michael Dougherty, who is best known for his screenwriting on such films as X-2 and Superman Returns.

The character featured here, Sam, is actually to be the focal point of an unreleased Halloween anthology film called Trick 'r Treat. The film has been in the can for well over a year, but Warner Bros. Studios keeps pushing the release date back because they're idiots. More on that in another blog, but in the meantime...enjoy:

The Bratz of Haddonfield

2008-10-01T12:01:00.007-05:00

Back on Father's Day 2007, my step-daughter gave me an awesome present: the Neca Toy's Halloween: Evolution of Evil 2-pack, which features 2 figures of movie madman Michael Myers! One fig is of Mikey as a child, complete in his clown suit (the mask is removable!), while the other is the fully-grown "Shape". I was impressed with the level of detail on both of the figures, as well as the fact that they thought to include Judith Meyer's tombstone, as well as the jack-o-lantern from the opening credits (it lights up!).
My step-daughter has a hand-made, ultra-detailed doll house that a friend of the family built for her, and so we decided that it would be fun to take some pictures of my figures terrorizing her Bratz dolls! She hasn't seen any of the Halloween movies (she's only eleven), but she still had fun helping me re-create these scenes from the film. Personally, I thought they turned out pretty well, and they're great for a laugh. Yes, I know...I'm one sick puppy!

Rock You Like a Hurricane!!!

2008-09-22T16:16:00.001-05:00

For those of you who don't watch the news, Hurricane Ike bitch-slapped the Houston area like his namesake used to do to Tina Turner. Well, much like her, we stood up to him and came out of the situation much stronger. Yesterday evening, power was finally restored to our area after nine days. We had no air-conditioning, which can be rather brutal in Houston. Fortunately, a cool front blew in, easing our burden for a few days. All of the family is fine, and looking forward to life returning to normal.
Many were not so lucky. One friend lost his apartment, along with most everything inside. He and his 8 & 1/2 month pregnant wife and two kids are now staying in a two bedroom apartment with his mother-in-law and brother-in-law. Another longtime friend lost her house, along with all of the contents. Yeah, it pretty well sucks. Overall, I cannot complain too much about being without my TV and AC for a few days when these folks lost so much. What amazed me about both of these individuals is their good attitude about their situation. Both seemed truly grateful to be alive and knowing that their loved-ones are safe. These kind of things bring perspective to our lives about what is truly important.
So, taking our cue from Tina, we may have been abused, but we don't just stay still and take it. Our city has pulled itself up by the bootstraps, and started putting the pieces together. Many still don't have power, and water is out in some regions, but I have to say that I've been impressed with how quickly the local utilities have taken action. I have seen, all over the area, a concerted effort to clean up and restore our infrastructure in a timely manner. Ike is gone, but we aren't letting his actions get us down!

Halloween!!!!

2008-09-02T16:04:00.000-05:00

It's the time of year when I start thinking of Jack O'Lanterns, Ghosts, Goblins and all things frightful! Yes, 'tis the Halloween season once again! Now, I hear some of you saying "wait! It's only September! Isn't it a little early for Halloween?". To this, I can only reply with an entusiastic "HELL NO"!!!!

All Hallow's Eve has long been my favorite holiday. When else can folks dress up as any darned thing they want, no matter how outrageous or silly? What other time of year can children go door to door and receive candy for free? When I was a kid, I looked forward to Halloween for precisely these reasons. The spooky trappings of the season were also a huge appeal. Looking back, I now realize that Halloween played a major role in helping me overcome my fears as a child. During this time of year, all those things that go bump in the night became externalized, and you could even become the very thing that frightens you! As an adult, I still enjoy this aspect, and I think it becomes a way for all of us to have a laugh at the expense of evil, death and fear. Don't believe me? Statistics show that horror films are always more popular during wars or times of national crisis. Universal's The Wolf Man, for example, became a huge hit, even though it opened days after the attack on Pearl Harbor. It would seem that people have a need to put a face to their fear so they can stare it down. By viewing horror films, or heading into "haunted house" attractions and the like, folks are able to feel they have survived their fear, and left it behind. (Of course, the good ol' adrenaline rush is a huge appeal as well).

For a few years as a kid, my parents attended an extremely Fundamentalist church, that declared Halloween as "Satanic", due to its pagan origins (I hate to inform them that the early Christians adopted Christmas and Easter from the pagans as well, and had no problem with any of them. These holidays were appropriated and Christianized in order to make former pagans feel more comfortable). Mom and Dad have since relaxed quite a bit when it comes to their beliefs, but back then they were pretty gung-ho. For a couple of years, I couldn't participate in any Halloween activities, since they were considered "evil". Now, I'm well aware that many neo-pagans consider Halloween (or "Samhain" as it was known in Celtic times) to be a sacred holiday, but those folks are fairly benign in their belief system. Modern-day Satanists (and by this I'm referring to the actual occultists who worship the entity of Satan) also observe it, but this doesn't mean that the baby should be thrown out with the bathwater. These folks appropriated it from the Druids just like the Christians did, and have thus done their own thing with it. To me, all these holidays have whatever meaning you choose to give them. I can pretty well guarantee that my philosophy towards Halloween is the polar opposite of the Satanists.

As I grew into adulthood, I never lost my love for all things Halloween. In fact, I continued to dress up, go to parties, and what-not. In the mid-nineties I met my friend Michelle, and we instantly bonded over our love for this holiday. Like me, she looks forward to it all year, and plots out her costume and party plans months in advance. Around the first of September, when all the Halloween merchandise begins to creep into stores, we always call each other to share what goodies we've spied! She always plans a rockin' party, that is considered to be one of the highlights of the year amongst that social circle. I've made multiple-disc compilations of Halloween appropriate music for the parties, and every year I'm on the lookout for more ghoulishly groovy tunes.

Now that I have kids, I've re-discovered the joy of Trick-or-Treating through them. Both of my kids have already picked out their costumes, and are discussing what activities and parties we will be going to. It has become a fun time for us all to share, and I've noticed that my little girl, in particular, seems to be enjoying the "scary" aspect. She is, for the first time, embracing the concept of scaring and being scared, and wants to decorate the house in frightful images instead of cute ones.

Until October 31st, little else will be on my mind, so bear with me if all I talk about is Horror films, Halloween music, party plans or any of the other myriad topics that spring to mind around this wonderful time of year!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings!

2008-09-02T13:27:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my first post on this here blog!

Many of you know me from MySpace, and this blog won't differ dramatically from my content there, although this one will probably focus more on my favorite holiday: Halloween! I plan to revisit some of my more popular blogs from MySpace, for anyone who may have missed them the first time around. So, if you see something on here that seems familiar, you've probably read this crap before on my other blog. Hey, if rock bands can continuosly re-package their hits over and over, I can do the same with this silly blog (even if there is a much smaller demand).